Who’s directing your steps?

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It’s a constant struggle at times to keep my bearings
He tries to control me because he gave me this ring
and these diamond earrings
I can hardly remember what I was like before we met

Some say full of life before I became his wife
I look in the mirror and all I see is my silhouette
How much did I allow myself to forget?

Always flexing and changing, never doing my own thing
In an effort to please him, I hide how much I’m hurting
Maybe it’s me, always trying to be ‘me’
I never thought our ‘unity’ meant losing my identity
His fight for control is unhealthy I’m told

He is my husband should I not do what I’m told
He says,” I am the potter and you are the clay
I am going to mold you and you’ll thank me one day.”

I hide to talk to my friends and family
For if he knew, he would be most unhappy
I feel so alone in this prison I call home
So I pray and I pray that God will show me the way
The blind leading the blind no more, no way.

God wants me to be happy and he wants me to know his love
This abuse will not continue!” declared my Lord above
My home-made prison is now a home filled with love
My controlling husband is now a peaceful dove

Thank you Heavenly Father
For answering my prayer from up above.

By: Cherylene Nicholas

This is not my reality.  However, there are women out there in situations similar and some even worse.  I was inspired to write this for them.  Abusive relationships of any type are unacceptable.   Pray and talk to God about your challenges and ask for guidance.

 

How you see yourself is ALL that matters

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What do you see when you look in the mirror – someone who is strong, handsome, beautiful, sexy, confident and well-rounded or do you only see imperfection after imperfection?

“Maybe if I wasn’t fat; maybe if I wasn’t so thin; maybe if I wasn’t so short or tall; maybe if I didn’t have this acne on my skin I would be so much more appealing. People would probably find me good looking or attractive.”  For each of us the “maybe if…” would be different and sometimes it may have common elements.

Let’s face the facts, “nobody is perfect.”   However, that does not make our insecurities about ourselves go away.  If anything, I think sometimes it could make us feel even more messed up because when the shoe is on your foot and it’s tight you’re the one feeling the squeeze.

We all have bad days.   Those days when you’re not looking or feeling your best.   Sometimes it is self-inflicted other times it could be from external factors.  Maybe you’re struggling with something and you feel very self-conscious about it and the people in your life are giving you a hard time.

I know what that is like and I know how discouraging it can be when you are not happy or satisfied with how you look.  Beating yourself up about it is not going to make you feel or look any better.  So, what do you do? I suggest taking action.   Staying inside and avoiding people is not the answer.  I know you wish it were that simple.  🙂

Ask yourself,  what am I willing to do to improve and feel better?

  1. If you have acne prone skin, look for healthy and safe ways to improve it. I know there are a lot of products out there on the market so it can be overwhelming.  You may have to adjust your diet, maybe create a daily skin care routine, maybe go back to basics and use all natural items like aloe vera, apple cider and honey just to name a few until you find something that works for you. Don’t give up!
  2. If you want to lose some weight you’re going to have to put in some work.   A change in your diet maybe necessary and even some form of exercise.  Is that really so bad?  If we really want to be our best selves shouldn’t we do what is necessary to get our health and bodies in better shape.
  3. Don’t let you mood keep you from being happy.  There are days when I just don’t feel like putting that much effort into how I look.  I’ve realised that doing the exact opposite actually helps improve my mood.  So I would put on a little makeup and style my hair and this simple act changes my mood and my attitude. If you’re not into all of that maybe you could wear a really nice dress, or a cute pair of shoes or a suit.

At the end of the day, looking at ourselves in the mirror and being negative about what we see does not change anything.  In fact, what we are really doing is keeping ourselves stuck when we should be actively pursuing ways to improve and better ourselves for no one else other than ourselves.

So be mindful of the people in your life that you allow to influence your thoughts and feelings especially if they are constantly negative.  Take control of the messages you feed yourself – as this can create the doorway for other people’s negativity in your life.

Instead try to foster within yourself a positive and healthy perspective by using words and doing things that uplift, motivate and encourage you to be better. We live in a world where we are taught to value what other people think of us more than how we see of ourselves.

The only view that’s truly important is, how YOU view yourself.

Thanks for stopping by.  🙂

 

Stretch Yourself

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Thank you Lord for another day.  Thank you for another opportunity to do better and be better. Thank you for all YOU have done, are doing and will do in our lives. Give us the strength and courage to stretch ourselves so that we can become the individuals we were meant to be. Amen!

That was my prayer for us. Many times we go through life and some of us tend to limit ourselves and our experiences because we are afraid.  I know what that is like because it used to keep me stuck.   Afraid of failure, afraid of the unknown, afraid of what others might say and afraid of change.

How many experiences, opportunities, potential relationships and friendships did you allow yourself to miss out on because you were afraid? Being afraid or ‘fearful’ is not all bad because this is our brain’s way of protecting us from anything or anyone it feels threatened by.

However, although the brain means well this emotion ‘fear’ can also paralyze us in moments when we need to act.  It can limit us and cause us to miss out on potentially good and positive experiences because we’ve become stuck in this emotional state where we start seeing everyone and everything as a potential threat.

This type of existence hinders our learning because we would typically avoid trying new things. Learning is a part of ‘living’ and if you choose to avoid new experiences, new opportunities and new things then you deny yourself the opportunity to widen your knowledge and your experiences therefore limiting your learning.

Today I want to encourage you to put your fear aside and stretch yourself.  Let’s look at some of the best case/ worse case scenarios of stretching yourself:

  1. Try something new it could be a new food, new sport, new activity (dancing, cooking class or a defense class) anything you build up the courage to try – either you’ll like it or you won’t and that’s okay.  Don’t be discouraged just try something else.  This is an opportunity for you to grow and learn more about yourself.  You’ll learn some likes and dislikes you didn’t know about – so go into it with an open mind.
  2. Open up to the possibility of sharing your life with others. Maybe you’ll meet someone who will become your best friend, lover, or future spouse only time will tell. Maybe you’ll just be friends or maybe you’ll learn that not everyone that smiles with you is your friend. Either way there is an opportunity to learn something about others as well as yourself.
  3. Change is good and is sometimes necessary for betterment to take place.  It is good to change-up our routine sometimes and create new ones. This could be as simple as taking a different route to work or home; . It could even be eating whole wheat bread instead of white bread, adding a fruit and vegetables to our daily meal plan.  This will help to foster greater flexibility and adaptability in your life.  Change can be good for you so rather than run from it sometimes based on the potential benefits and lessons to be learnt we should embrace it.
  4. The unknown or future is just that because no one knows what the future holds.    Hiding or shutting ourselves away from others and not participating in life does not help prepare us for the future if nothing else it can put us at a disadvantage. We should choose to live, love, learn and grow each and everyday and trust that our plans will workout in our favour when that time comes.

Stretch yourself, stretch your understanding, stretch your experiences, stretch your opportunities, stretch your relationships, stretch your body, mind and spirit. With each day that goes by understand that the only thing keeping you back is YOU. 

Don’t let fear limit your possibilities for growth, wisdom and understanding.

Just take it one day at a time. 🙂

Don’t let your PAIN hinder your GROWTH

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Everything happens for a reason both the good and the bad. Some people come into your life to build you up while others try to break you down.  Every encounter has a purpose ultimately it is up to you to use it to make you better, stronger and wiser.

How many of you can say that you’ve never been hurt emotionally, physically or psychologically by another human being?  I’ve been hurt and I don’t feel bad acknowledging this because even Jesus had his share of hurt, pain and disappointments.

How many of you can say that when you were hurt that it did not negatively affect you?   Whenever, I feel hurt sometimes it affects my mood, my appetite and even my interactions with others. The fact is, we all react to pain differently but we all react nonetheless. 

PAIN is a part of life.  There is no way we would be able to go through this life and have everything and everyone in our lives be perfect 24/7.  It is unrealistic because life itself is unpredictable.  We have to learn to handle our pain and emotions in a manner that does not leave us feeling defeated, helpless and broken.

The circumstance may have labelled you the “victim” but you can determine if you accept or reject that label. Take a note of the following, DON’T LET YOUR PAIN… 

  1. STEAL YOUR FUTURE.
  2. HOLD YOU BACK IN LIFE.
  3. PARALYZE YOU.
  4. KEEP YOU STUCK.
  5. FEED YOU EXCUSES FOR STAYING WHERE YOU ARE.
  6. BLIND YOU FROM YOUR TRUTH.
  7. DENY YOU JOY AND HAPPINESS.
  8. SHUT THE PEOPLE OUT WHO REALLY LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU.
  9. SMOTHER YOU ANYMORE.
  10. CONTROL YOUR LIFE.

Some facts I thought you should know:

  1. YOU ARE NOT PERFECT AND THAT’S OKAY. NO ONE IS!
  2. YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR CIRCUMSTANCE – SO DON’T JUST SIT BACK AND ACCEPT THAT’S HOW IT IS.
  3. YOUR FUTURE IS ULTIMATELY UP TO YOU. 
  4. USE THE PAIN TO YOUR ADVANTAGE – LEARN FROM IT – GROW WISER AND STRONGER. 
  5. PAIN IS NOT OUR WEAKNESS. IT JUST MEANS WE ARE HUMAN.
  6. DON’T GIVE UP.

Time for the healing to begin. Find your purpose.  You were not put on this earth to be mediocre and unhappy.  You have a purpose and you have to find it.  Don’t let your pain stop your growth or keep you stuck in a rot.

Over the years with every situation I realized there was a lesson to be learnt. Not only about the people involved in it but about myself as well.  Ask yourself what is the ‘lesson’ to be learnt from this experience?  What good can you take from these lessons? Find it, so you can move forward.

You’ve made it this far!

Health and Wellness Fridays – Honey

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Welcome back to Health and Wellness Fridays!!    Today, we are going to be looking at honey and some of the amazing benefits we can get from it.

My grandfather now deceased was a beekeeper. I remember how he would have to put on his white bee-suit and smoke out the bee hives to extract the honey.  I was very young then and had no idea how valuable his craft was. I never really liked the taste of honey. As an adult, I now see the value of something I had taken for granted as a child growing up.

Honey has been around since the ancient times and was seen as a precious commodity.  It was used not only as a natural sweetener but for medicinal and religious purposes as well.

What is honey? 

The simplest way to describe it,  honey  is a sweet product that is made by bees using the nectar of flowers.  Honey is rich in various vitamins, minerals and antioxidants.

According to the National Honey Board , “Honey color ranges from nearly colorless to dark brown, and its flavor varies from delectably mild to distinctively bold, depending on where the honey bees buzzed. As a general rule, light-colored honey is milder in taste and dark-colored honey is stronger.”

Some uses and benefits of honey

Let’s take a look at some of the uses and benefits of using honey.   Please note that raw or pure honey is recommended when treating any of the undermentioned.

General Health  Benefits:

  • Helps prevent cancer and heart disease
  • Reduces cough and throat irritation
  • Anti-bacterial and anti-fungal
  • Boost your immune system
  • Helps regulate blood sugar
  • Helps soothe acid reflux
  • Help boost your energy
  • Helps with cholesterol
  • Good memory booster
  • Treat yeast infections
  • Aid in weight loss
  • Promotes a better sleep
  • Helps with allergies
  • Treat herpes

 

Skin and Hair Benefits:

  • Promotes a healthy scalp
  • Heals wounds and burns
  • Helps fight acne
  • Moisturizer
  • Treat eczema
  • Shampoo and condition hair

Best type of honey to use

Raw or unprocessed honey is the best type to use because commercial honey is often heavily processed and may even be chemically refined.  Commercial honey is usually golden in colour and has a syrup-like appearance.   Additionally, you should note that once raw honey is excessively heated and processed,  the health benefits are largely depleted.  All honey is therefore not created equal so be sure to ask questions and read what you are buying.

How to use honey

Although honey is full of benefits, it is also high in fructose and must be used in moderation therefore less is best especially when consuming it.

Important – Possible Side Effects

Now I could not leave you without mentioning some possible side effects of consuming too much honey.   Some side effects can include: weight gain, cavities, nausea, weakness, vomiting, dizziness, and sweating.

Children under 12 months MUST NOT be given honey because it is a potential source for the bacteria that causes botulism.  Raw honey is however, safe for older children and adults.

If you are allergic to pollen or have any other bee-related allergies, it is recommended that you do not consume raw honey.

How I use it

  • I like to mix 1 teaspoon honey in warm water with cinnamon and the juice from 1/2 a lemon.  Drink on an empty stomach once per day. This aids in my detox and weight management.
  • I sometimes mix it with some lime or lemon juice if I have a sore throat.
  • I use 1 teaspoon of honey mixed with sugar and a few drops of lemon juice as an exfoliator on my skin once or twice per week. Rubbing the mixture in circular motion on my face and neck and I leave it for about 10 minutes before I wash it off.
  • I also like to add it to my Bar-B-Que sauce replacing brown sugar.

There are tons of recipes and combinations for using honey based on your objectives and goals.  So do your research and get yourself a bottle today.

              

 

Love does not live there anymore

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Do you remember when we were friends?

Thought we would be together until the end

You and me together and free

That’s how I thought we would always be

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

With each experience we grew stronger

Falling in love more and more with each other

I had eyes only for YOU, so I thought my love was true

Always thought that was how love was supposed to be

Me loving you and you loving me

……………………………………………………………………………………

As time went by we moved out of range

Moving in different directions, we were destined to change

Arguments became the new routine

Now cold as ice, you grew mean

…………………………………………………………………………………………

The waves were beating against our ship

I tried to save us but that was it

Enough is enough, it was time for me to get tough

It was time to jump ship and go ashore

Because love does not live there anymore.

By: Cherylene Nicholas

 

Don’t be discouraged

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Hope you’re having a nice day

So much to do no time to play

You’re always hustling from here to there

Hope you remembered to eat your pear

……………………………………………………………………………..

I know right now that things are tough

And you had no idea it would get this rough

But hang in there  and do not despair

Never surrender to your fear

……………………………………………………………………………..

Life events are merely test

It’s up to you to do your best

So don’t be discouraged instead use your courage

………………………………………………………………………………………

Learning the lessons as you go

All designed to help you grow

Just thought I’d let you know.

By: Cherylene Nicholas