Take Action

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You can’t help but wonder, “why even bother?”

As you sit there and sunder

About all of your silly blunders

Some say they feel something and yet, others feel nothing

Isn’t that strange, why is it, only a few change?

What’s the difference?  Some took ACTION

The rest with no traction, stayed stuck in the muck

Any progress made, just left there to fade

Still chilling with their crew, who often have nothing good to do

One step forward, two steps back

Angry with the world for what’s left of their soul

If you’re not getting traction, it’s TIME to TAKE ACTION

Please don’t sit there trying to refute

What we both know, is the undeniable truth

You’ve lost your way and I’m saying, it’s okay

It’s the dawn of a new day and you WILL find you way

For as you change your disposition

You will create a new position

One full of hope, strength and truth

Come one,  come all and pay tribute

To new beginnings

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By: Cherylene Nicholas

Message: Simply saying positive things is not going to fix your problems.    For real and lasting change to take place in our lives we have to take action, make changes in our thinking, behaviour and sometimes in our friends (removing any negative people).  If we can do this, then the real transformation can start.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hidden Realities

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” She is so beautiful!,” they often whisper

Just under their breath because she’ll surely fret

Little do they know what lies beneath her beauty

Are tales of mistreatment and untold cruelty

She does not believe the kind words of others

Especially about such superficial  matters

She dismisses the matter as simple child-like chatter

Because she knows words do not really matter

As she heads home in despair

Thinking no one knows, no one cares

The voices in her head, wishing she were dead

But instead with haste she rushes home, “I can’t be late, I can’t be late”

She missed the bus, oh what a fate!

And now almost to tears she faces her fears,

As she cautiously enters the room she utters, “Honey, I’m home!”

Greeted with silence by what was once her loving partner

She braces herself for what might come after

He gestures to hit her but laughs at her manner

Hitting and belittling his wife was a laughing matter

With his words and fists, he would keep her in check

For NO wife of his would show disrespect

She is allowed to explain

As he twisted her arm inflicting pain

“This is my last chance”, she thought

Her chance to be free, free from this violence and misery

So she kisses him good night and goes to bed without a fight

For soon, she will take flight, in the middle of the night.

By: Cherylene Nicholas

Moral: Do not judge people by how they look or even by the words that come out of their mouth. You have no idea what’s really going on in their lives or in their minds.  Be grateful for the life you have.  

I felt inspired to write this poem let me know what you think.

Motivation and Inspiration

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For most of my life I have felt lost and unfilled and often wondered what I was really meant to do.  A few months ago, I had an unexplained urge to write a book titled, “What is Your Gift?”   I wrote it and shared it with my best friend and sister, Candice.  She is my main go to person when I need advice.  She tells me like it is and I can trust her to tell me the truth.

She read my draft and gave me her reviews.  Now let me remind you, I had NEVER done any previous writing of this nature before and had just decided to document my thoughts and ideas and ended up with a book.  My sister’s reviews that night changed my life. She said, that she had no idea that I could write like that and if she did not see me working on it herself she might have doubted that I actually did it.  She found the work quality to be very good and the messages very helpful.  You should have seen my face beaming with pride.  As our eyes met at one point they were almost to tears because we both knew my life story and she was proud of me.  She always tells me how great I am but that night she said, “Cherylene, I believe you have finally found what makes you happy.”  My eyes lit up and it was as if I had been set free.

At that moment, we started talking about starting a blog so I could reach people, share stories, ideas and hopefully make a positive difference in someone’s life.  I loved the idea of writing because the more I did it, the more I wanted to do it and the more I wanted to share it with the world.  Writing for me is a tool for expressing  and  communicating with others my perspective on life and the world at large.

As can be expected with trying anything new, I was a bit intimidated at first but I knew that if I really wanted to become a writer I had to write and publish my work.   The experience and constructive feedback would only improve my writing.   The truth is, some people will like it and some people may not.   However, that would not hinder my contribution it just pushes me to present my best self.

Motivation and inspiration my friends can come from anywhere, at anytime, from anyone. Sometimes we just need to open not only our eyes but our minds to get what we really need.   Do not limit yourself to your personal circles for encouragement sometimes you just have to dig deep and jump-start within yourself those creative juices that started your passion in the first place.

Stay focused. Stay in touch.  Let me know what or who motivates you.

Valentine’s Day-Live, Love and Laugh

 

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Happy Valentine’s Day!” That’s all you will hear and see today.  Some of us look forward to it while others can’t wait for it to fade away to bring forth a new day.  It awakens in most of us good and bad memories.

Flowers, chocolates, jewelry, perfume and stuffed animals just to name a few, are just some of the many items generally shared on a day like today.    Some may be so lucky to enjoy breakfast in bed, a late lunch or maybe even a fancy dinner.  Just the thought of it all makes you smile and quiver.  “Maybe he’ll surprise me.  I can’t wait to see what he does this year, so let the games begin.”

On the other side of that coin, is the woman who is keeping her expectations low. Sitting, hoping and praying, “Please Lord, let him get it right this time!” Yes, we’ve heard the saying, it’s the thought that counts but do we really mean that ladies?  Do you sometimes sit there hoping and wishing that just maybe this one time that beautiful bouquet coming through the office door was for YOU.  Be honest with yourself.

Valentine’s Day should not just be about two people who share a sexual relationship exchanging gifts and saying “I love you”.  We all have non-sexual relationships that are valued too. It won’t take much to say a kind word or do something nice for your special friend – just to let him or her know how much you value and appreciate them.

In a healthy relationship filled with love and understanding where constant communication is the norm – Valentine’s Day is just another day where you express your love for each  other. These individuals have forged a healthy balance between the giving and taking in their relationship.  A healthy relationship is not all about the man or all about the woman.  They try to give each other equal attention by focusing on each other.   Ladies as much as the  primary focus seems centered on us please do your part to make the day a great one for your significant other as well.

Unfortunately, some women have grown so accustom to only receiving kind words or gifts on a special occasion that when the day comes and they don’t get them, they are devastated.   I can’t blame them, after all, they have most likely shown their love, appreciation and affection and naturally expect to have it reciprocated.

I think sometimes as women,  we have a tendency to focus our energy and resources on displaying our love and affection for others so much that we often neglect ourselves.   Whether you are single or in a relationship, let today be a day where we take extra special care to treat ourselves to something special.   Go to the spa, order dinner from your favourite restaurant, get a bottle of wine for later and sit down and toast to being the beautiful person that you are.

People often say, I have so much love to give but they often neglect to share that love with themselves first.  Only after establishing love for yourself can you truly love someone else. Balance is key, without it things fall apart.

Have a great day!  Drinks on me.

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Friendships reviewed

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Yes, I said it.  I used the “F” word, but it is not what you think. The word I am referring to is “friends”.  What is a Friend?  Why are we so quick to throw the word around as though everyone fits the bill. When we all know that not everyone we talk to is our friend.  Every relationship that you have can be classified into one of the undermentioned categories.  To be someone’s friend is a choice. 

A friend to me is someone you can trust;  someone who would be honest with you;  someone who would not judge you;  someone who would listen and spend time with you and someone who you feel comfortable being yourself around.

Most of us would agree that there are different degrees of ‘friendships‘. I believe that friendships could be broken down into four main categories: steel friendships, concrete  friendship, stick friendships and straw friendships with the steel friendships being the strongest and the straw friendships being the weakest.   All of these relationships have their purpose in our lives.  It is important to see these relationships for what they are so that we have the proper expectations, if any, for the people that exist within them.

Straw friendships are the weakest of the friendships.  These people do not exist in your typical circle of friends.  You do not socialize with each other and if you do see each other out in public you would probably only say “Hi” if, eye contact was made.  You have not spent any real-time getting to know each other and probably know each other through  a one-off event or through a mutual friend.   You probably would not remember his or her name. There is typically no physical contact with these interactions.  You know of each other but don’t know each other.  They are what I would call an ‘encounter.

Stick friendships tend to lend themselves to familiarity and thus are a little stronger than straw friendships.  These people have spent some time interacting with you and thus you would most likely say “Hello” and chat briefly when out in public.  They can be anyone you have positive frequent interactions with such as neighbours, favourite food vendors, etc.  In friendships like this, it is possible to build good rapport with each other and not know each others names. Facial recognition usually is enough to initiate a smile or a hello.  However, once you have learnt their names it is unlikely that you would forget it.  They are what I would call an ‘acquaintance.

Concrete friendship as the name suggest are strong relationships. They have known you for many years.  You have shared many secrets and have lots of stories to share.  Time, age and life circumstances have reduced the frequency of the time shared with each other.  You probably don’t talk as much as you used to but should you see each other in public there would most likely be a public display of affection – a warm embrace or kiss on the cheek.  If and when you do meet up for drinks, it is like old times again as you try to catch up on all the chapters of each others lives that you’ve missed. These are ‘friends’.

Steel friendship are the strongest of these friendships. They consists of those people who have chosen to stay apart of your life.  They have been there for the ups and downs in your life.   They have been in your life for many years.  You communicate regularly.  You support, encourage, console, counsel and trust each other with various aspects of your lives. When you meet up there is a public display of affection.  These people stand up for you and defend you  especially when aren’t there to defend yourself.  To the outside world, there is NO question about where their loyalty lies.  These people play crucial roles in your life and thus their well-being is important to you as much as yours is to them.  They are typically a family member, a childhood friend or someone who has known you at least five  years or more.  They are your ‘best friends’.

How significant a person’s role is in your life is determined by YOU.   The level of contribution they make in your life however, is up to THEM.    We meet people everyday but very few come in our lives to stay.   So if you have a friend or two that’s true, don’t be afraid to say, “I love and appreciate you.”

Who Am I?

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Who am I?  I am a mother, a daughter, a sister, an aunt and a friend.  Hmmm, maybe what I am is really a Customer Service Specialist turned Liaison Assistant who transformed into a Collections Officer and Supervisor reborn as a Business Analyst who explored what being a Monitoring Officer was all about.  A few obstacles and blessings later to resurface as Head Administrator and Teacher.  Now I am an aspiring writer and motivational speaker.

Do all these experiences define who I am?   I don’t believe they do.   All they tell you is who I am to the various people in my life and where I have been in terms of the jobs I’ve held but who am I really?   To answer this question, I think I have to look at who I was.

I was always trying to please everyone and spent little time focusing on the things I loved doing.  What that was exactly, I didn’t really know until recently.  I would try to improve various aspects of myself hoping to make others like me but I soon realized that the ONLY person I really needed to like me, was ME.

I felt as though I always needed the approval of others. Making a decision on my life sometimes seemed terrifying.  Some people profess to never care about what others think but that was a real problem for me.  I am certain that I’m not the only person out there who has felt like this at some time or another.

One day I realized that I was not really ‘living’ but rather just existing.  I was tired of doing the same things over and over that did not make me truly happy and more importantly it was time to fix it.   I told myself,”enough is enough“.  No more excuses, no more self-pity.     Fear of the unknown and criticism would not be allowed to hold me back.  It is my time now!  The reality was it could have been my time anytime I wanted, the problem was, I was not ready to claim it.

‘Living’ is a state of mind that requires us to take action. You see, knowing that you’re not happy or satisfied in any area of your life is one step but actually doing something positive about it is where the courage comes in.

I am smart, strong and determined.  I am pursuing my dream and loving every moment.  I know, who I am.

Now ask yourself, “Who am I?”

We Criticize because…

via Daily Prompt: Criticize

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We criticize because WE CAN!    We often do it more than we should and for some, this is a pass time that never gets old.  For many, it is just a matter of sharing their opinions on what is wrong with the world today.  For others, they are hopeful that their insight would be the catalyst for change and betterment.

To criticize is “to express disapproval of someone or something.”  My question is,  should we really care what people think?  The ‘people’ I am referring to here are the constantly negative elements in our lives that find it difficult to share uplifting and encouraging words.  It is almost as if they sit there, plotting and waiting to offload on us, all the things they were thinking about during the day.  They may try to label it as ‘constructive feedback’ but I highly doubt it!

We live in a world where criticism is the norm.  If you must share your thoughts and opinions with someone try to put yourself in their shoes.  If you plan on just being mean, then I suggest you hold that thought.  If however, your purpose is to genuinely help that person improve, then please strive to be respectful and thoughtful of their feelings in your delivery.

Too often messages meant for good get lost in translation because of poor delivery resulting in anger and hurt feelings.   No one likes to be criticized.  Some of us over the years have learnt to toughen up so the opinions of others does not negatively impact how we feel or see ourselves.  Unfortunately, not everyone can master that skill, after all,  this is something that is developed over time.

My suggestion is rather than criticize let us ’empathize’.  Our intentions should always be to uplift, encourage and educate NEVER to break others down.  Focus on what really needs fixing.  Think, if you were on the receiving end, would you action every criticism you were given? Chances are, No!  We need to interpret for ourselves what messages we can learn from and what messages to disregard.

More often than not the people closest to us find it hard to tell us the truth sometimes. I  believe they are afraid of potentially hurting our feelings.  Don’t dismiss anyone who is trying to be genuine, you might miss out on an opportunity to learn something new.  Nobody is perfect, and that’s okay.  No one has to be.

How we deliver the message is just as important as the message itself.