I believe that every disappointment has a hidden blessing behind it even though we may not see it at the time.
What do I mean by “blessing“? I believe that a blessing can refer to a person or an act that can improve or add value, happiness and joy to someone’s life. It can be anything from getting a new house; getting a promotion; conceiving or receiving a child; spiritual healing, physical healing; meeting the love of your life; achieving financial deliverance and so much more based on the needs and value placed on it by the person receiving it.
God knows our heart’s desires. He also knows whatis best for us and more importantly whento bless us with the things that we need and want. I’ve come to learn over the years that my timing and God’s timing are different. I want all of my blessings and I want them now – used to be my attitude and thinking. Patience was a virtue I definitely lacked.
God has a bigger plan for our lives. We all have a special and unique purpose and contribution to make in this world even though we can’t see it now.
However, in order for us to receive the blessings God has for us – I believe that we have to first undergo some test and learn some lessons along the way, all designed to develop and strengthen us. Some of the test and lessons are more difficult than others and can come in the form of hardship, disappointments and even tragedy.
In my test, I would admit I was sometimes confused, angry and even disappointed when things didn’t go my way or when relationships failed.
Here are (10) ten lessons that I learnt:
When God puts it in your heart to do something – do it! Don’t delay and keep putting it off. You don’t want him to up the antics to get your attention.
Some test and lessons require us to walk away from certain people and things in our lives for us to achieve the things we are destined for. When God says it’s time to wrap it up you better wrap it up.
Every disappointment, every failure and every heart-break was designed to make us stronger, wiser and more resilient.
Disappointment hurts and it can even leave us feeling a little crushed. It is not however, meant to destroy our hope or wreck our lives. It is how we respond to these events that can bring us the break-through that we’ve hoped for.
Crying can help bring emotional release but it does not help with the mental turmoil. Those feelings of unworthiness, self-doubt, self-pity, anger, resentment and frustration can eat you alive. I had to find ways to overcome those feelings in order for me to move forward with my life and that in itself was a test and a lesson.
God knows the things we struggle with even before we do. He will even create situations to help us overcome them but we have to trust him and persevere. We must do our part or there will be no growth and I believe we remain stuck in our test until we learn the lesson.
God is a merciful God and he will never give us more than we can bear. Our test are different and some might even say unfair at times as we compare our lives to others but let’s not compare but instead choose to persevere so our blessings can flow as we continue to grow in mind, body and spirit.
It takes a lot of self talk, prayer, faith, trust and perseverance to go through life in your present existence knowing that although everything is not perfect right now things will get better.
Use disappointment as a stepping stone to propel you into the next level of your journey.
We all have our own test to complete and our own lessons to learn.
What lesson is God trying to teach you in your life now? What or who is holding you back from becoming who you are meant to be?
I believe we all have the potential to not only overcome the disappointments that we are faced with but also get the hidden blessings that can come out of them – if we choose to view them differently and persevere.
If you are going through a tough period in your life now, know that you are not alone. Life can be a struggle but not everything in it has to be. Trust that this too shall pass, look for the lesson, learn from it and God will deliver your blessing.
What is real beauty? It seems everywhere we turn we’re bombarded with images and perceptions about what signifies or identifies as ‘beauty’ and this is largely based on how someone or something looks.
However, over time I have come to realise that real beauty is sometimes deeper than just the physical attributes of someone as well as it can be based on personal preferences of the person doing the assessment that is to say, what might be beautiful to me may not be beautiful to you and vice versa. Hence the popular saying, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”
How many couples have you looked at and thought, “What an interesting combo?” or “How did he or she end up with him or her?” How many people have you met that did not meet up to your standards of beauty or attractiveness that turned out to be great people who you now have beautiful friendships or relationships with? Or rather how many people have you not allowed yourself the opportunity to interact with because they did not meet your standards based on their appearance?
If we limit ourselves to just what our eyes can see then we can potentially be missing out on many beautiful things and people out there in the world around us.
I am not advocating that we stop admiring or complimenting people based on their appearance. What I am suggesting however, is that we not limit or avoid interactions with others because of their outward characteristics because sometimes “what you see is not necessarily what you get” and this can prevent us sometimes from learning and experiencing someone or something truly special.
I for one have met and interacted with all types of people and there have been times when I met people who I deemed beautiful or attractive in their outward appearance and later found out that they lacked inward beauty – that is, their character, personality or values did not match up with their outward beauty and I suddenly did not find them as beautiful after that.
As children through stories like “The Ugly Duckling” and “Beauty and the Beast” we’re taught “you should not judge a book by the cover.” We all know the stories so ask yourself this, who really loses in scenarios where we make assumptions or judgements about others based on their appearances – the person being judged or the person making the judgement?
A diamond is a diamond whether we think it is beautiful or not. Our like or dislike for it does not change what it is. This is how we must see ourselves and others as well. We are all beautiful and special and this is how we need to see our differences because whether people like us or not would not change or take away from what makes each and every one of us special, unique and beautiful.
Real beauty to me is not limited to just the physical attributes of someone or something but the non-physical attributes that compliment that person or thing. It is what makes it truly special and beautiful giving those that come into contact with it a sense of joy, happiness and pleasure to be around.
What do you see when you look in the mirror – someone who is strong, handsome, beautiful, sexy, confident and well-rounded or do you only see imperfection after imperfection?
“Maybe if I wasn’t fat; maybe if I wasn’t so thin; maybe if I wasn’t so short or tall; maybe if I didn’t have this acne on my skin I would be so much more appealing. People would probably find me good looking or attractive.” For each of us the “maybe if…” would be different and sometimes it may have common elements.
Let’s face the facts, “nobody is perfect.” However, that does not make our insecurities about ourselves go away. If anything, I think sometimes it could make us feel even more messed up because when the shoe is on your foot and it’s tight you’re the one feeling the squeeze.
We all have bad days. Those days when you’re not looking or feeling your best. Sometimes it is self-inflicted other times it could be from external factors. Maybe you’re struggling with something and you feel very self-conscious about it and the people in your life are giving you a hard time.
I know what that is like and I know how discouraging it can be when you are not happy or satisfied with how you look. Beating yourself up about it is not going to make you feel or look any better. So, what do you do? I suggest taking action. Staying inside and avoiding people is not the answer. I know you wish it were that simple. 🙂
Ask yourself, what am I willing to do to improve and feel better?
If you have acne prone skin, look for healthy and safe ways to improve it. I know there are a lot of products out there on the market so it can be overwhelming. You may have to adjust your diet, maybe create a daily skin care routine, maybe go back to basics and use all natural items like aloe vera, apple cider and honey just to name a few until you find something that works for you. Don’t give up!
If you want to lose some weight you’re going to have to put in some work. A change in your diet maybe necessary and even some form of exercise. Is that really so bad? If we really want to be our best selves shouldn’t we do what is necessaryto get our health and bodies in better shape.
Don’t let you mood keep you from being happy. There are days when I just don’t feel like putting that much effort into how I look. I’ve realised that doing the exact opposite actually helps improve my mood. So I would put on a little makeup and style my hair and this simple act changes my mood and my attitude. If you’re not into all of that maybe you could wear a really nice dress, or a cute pair of shoes or a suit.
At the end of the day, looking at ourselves in the mirror and being negative about what we see does not change anything. In fact, what we are really doing is keeping ourselves stuck when we should be actively pursuing ways to improve and better ourselves for no one else other than ourselves.
So be mindful of the people in your life that you allow to influence your thoughts and feelings especially if they are constantly negative. Take control of the messages you feed yourself – as this can create the doorway for other people’s negativity in your life.
Instead try to foster within yourself a positive and healthy perspective by using words and doing things that uplift, motivate and encourage you to be better. We live in a world where we are taught to value what other people think of us more than how we see of ourselves.
The only view that’s truly important is, how YOU view yourself.
Thank you Lord for another day. Thank you for another opportunity to do better and be better. Thank you for all YOU have done, are doing and will do in our lives. Give us the strength and courage to stretch ourselves so that we can become the individuals we were meant to be. Amen!
That was my prayer for us. Many times we go through life and some of us tend to limit ourselves and our experiences because we are afraid. I know what that is like because it used to keep me stuck. Afraid of failure, afraid of the unknown, afraid of what others might say and afraid of change.
How many experiences, opportunities, potential relationships and friendships did you allow yourself to miss out on because you were afraid? Being afraid or ‘fearful’ is not all bad because this is our brain’s way of protecting us from anything or anyone it feels threatened by.
However, although the brain means well this emotion ‘fear’ can also paralyze us in moments when we need to act. It can limit us and cause us to miss out on potentially good and positive experiences because we’ve become stuck in this emotional state where we start seeing everyone and everything as a potential threat.
This type of existence hinders our learning because we would typically avoid trying new things. Learning is a part of ‘living’ and if you choose to avoid new experiences, new opportunities and new things then you deny yourself the opportunity to widen your knowledge and your experiences therefore limiting your learning.
Today I want to encourage you to put your fear aside and stretch yourself. Let’s look at some of the best case/ worse case scenarios of stretching yourself:
Try something new it could be a new food, new sport, new activity (dancing, cooking class or a defense class) anything you build up the courage to try – either you’ll like it or you won’t and that’s okay. Don’t be discouraged just try something else. This is an opportunity for you to grow and learn more about yourself. You’ll learn some likes and dislikes you didn’t know about – so go into it with an open mind.
Open up to the possibility of sharing your life with others. Maybe you’ll meet someone who will become your best friend, lover, or future spouse only time will tell. Maybe you’ll just be friends or maybe you’ll learn that not everyone that smiles with you is your friend. Either way there is an opportunity to learn something about others as well as yourself.
Change is good and is sometimes necessary for betterment to take place. It is good to change-up our routine sometimes and create new ones. This could be as simple as taking a different route to work or home; . It could even be eating whole wheat bread instead of white bread, adding a fruit and vegetables to our daily meal plan. This will help to foster greater flexibility and adaptability in your life. Change can be good for you so rather than run from it sometimes based on the potential benefits and lessons to be learnt we should embrace it.
The unknown or future is just that because no one knows what the future holds. Hiding or shutting ourselves away from others and not participating in life does not help prepare us for the future if nothing else it can put us at a disadvantage. We should choose to live, love, learn and grow each and everyday and trust that our plans will workout in our favour when that time comes.
Stretch yourself, stretch your understanding, stretch your experiences, stretch your opportunities, stretch your relationships, stretch your body, mind and spirit. With each day that goes by understand that the only thing keeping you back is YOU.
Don’t let fear limit your possibilities for growth, wisdom and understanding.
Everything happens for a reason both the good and the bad. Some people come into your life to build you up while others try to break you down. Every encounter has a purpose ultimately it is up to you to use it to make you better, stronger and wiser.
How many of you can say that you’ve never been hurt emotionally, physically or psychologically by another human being? I’ve been hurt and I don’t feel bad acknowledging this because even Jesus had his share of hurt, pain and disappointments.
How many of you can say that when you were hurt that it did not negatively affect you? Whenever, I feel hurt sometimes it affects my mood, my appetite and even my interactions with others. The fact is, we all react to pain differently but we all react nonetheless.
PAIN is a part of life. There is no way we would be able to go through this life and have everything and everyone in our lives be perfect 24/7. It is unrealistic because life itself is unpredictable. We have to learn to handle our pain and emotions in a manner that does not leave us feeling defeated, helpless and broken.
The circumstance may have labelled you the “victim” but you can determine if you accept or reject that label. Take a note of the following, DON’T LET YOUR PAIN…
STEAL YOUR FUTURE.
HOLD YOU BACK IN LIFE.
KEEP YOU STUCK.
FEED YOU EXCUSES FOR STAYING WHERE YOU ARE.
BLIND YOU FROM YOUR TRUTH.
DENY YOU JOY AND HAPPINESS.
SHUT THE PEOPLE OUT WHO REALLY LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU.
SMOTHER YOU ANYMORE.
CONTROL YOUR LIFE.
Some facts I thought you should know:
YOU ARE NOT PERFECT AND THAT’S OKAY. NO ONE IS!
YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR CIRCUMSTANCE – SO DON’T JUST SIT BACK ANDACCEPT THAT’S HOW IT IS.
YOUR FUTURE IS ULTIMATELY UP TO YOU.
USE THE PAIN TO YOUR ADVANTAGE – LEARN FROM IT – GROW WISER AND STRONGER.
PAIN IS NOT OUR WEAKNESS. IT JUST MEANS WE ARE HUMAN.
DON’T GIVE UP.
Time for the healing to begin. Find your purpose. You were not put on this earth to be mediocre and unhappy. You have a purpose and you have to find it. Don’t let your pain stop your growth or keep you stuck in a rot.
Over the years with every situation I realized there was a lesson to be learnt. Not only about the people involved in it but about myself as well. Ask yourself what is the ‘lesson’ to be learnt from this experience? What good can you take from these lessons? Find it, so you can move forward.