Music Reflections Mondays #20 – “Too Good At Goodbyes”

Welcome back to Music Reflection Mondays!  Most of last week I was bombarded by various radio stations with this song from Sam Smith called Too Good At Goodbye.    

Every time I hear it, it takes me back to chapters in my life when “goodbyes” were needed but were so difficult because of the emotional attachments.  The lyrics are so relatable to anyone who has been in a relationship that ended up taking more than it was giving or just was too toxic for you to continue to survive in.  I think he penned it beautifully.

Relationships come and relationships go and based on our history or patterns with our partners we adjust emotionally and expose less and less of true selves to reduce the feeling of loss and disappointment should things not work out.

It is a sad song as it highlights the emotions, thoughts and frustrations of someone in a relationship who is just so tired of the roller-coaster ride that walking away is the BEST alternative.   Walking away is never easy but I love Dua Lipa’s New Rules song.   I like how she list the rules as she attempts to get over the failed relationship.  She has a more upbeat approach to the situation. I love it!!!! 🙂

 

 

The Games We Play

The games we play

When we don’t know what to say

Other than the truth because

We often let our fears get in the way

 

The games we play

When we know how we feel

But let the complexities of life

Build and foster within us unnecessary strife

 

The games we play

As we pretend to others and within ourselves

That what is going on around us has no affect

When the truth is, it is making our hearts bleed

 

The games we play

When we let our selfishness get in the way

We don’t take the emotions of others into play

Causing fractures in our relationships

That sometimes lead to the sinking of the ship

 

Should you decide to play games

With the emotions of others

Don’t say I didn’t warn you

So be true to yourself and don’t do to others

What you don’t want done unto you.

 

Thanks for stopping by. Make today a great one!

Oil and Water

We’re like oil and water,

We don’t mix

No matter how hard we try

There’s just no fix

Round and round we go

Unable to sustain any type of meaningful flow

My smile is gone and I’ve lost my glow

I think it’s time for you to go

I’ve waited too long this much I know

…………………………………………………………..

Time for me to accept

That this path I must reject

Because life is about living

And with you it feels so draining

That my head is always spinning

And it is clear no one is winning

……………………………………………………

So it’s best that we separate

Before I evaporate.

Moving On

Moving on

Often easier said than done

Until you are the one

Feeling the pain in your chest

As your heart aches

And your mind races

Playing over and over in your head

Things said and done

………………………………………………………

You can’t sleep or get any rest

Because the person you loved

And you thought loved you

Decided to move on without you in their life

That is a tough pill to swallow

But acceptance eventually comes but it takes time

…………………………………………………………………….

You’ll be angry, sad, depressed and sometimes just

Damn confused about why and how this could even happen

I can tell you it gets better

After you cry your eyes out

Maybe even give a good scream and shout

………………………………………………………………….

For each of us the recovery time varies

But you CAN and WILL overcome this

You can’t see it now but it is for the BEST

One day at a time, make the decision

To be your best self

………………………………………………………………

The brokenness you’re feeling won’t last

Smile even when you don’t feel like it

Talk to someone,

The worst thing you could do is shut everyone out

You will love and be loved again

You will smile, laugh and create even better memories

You will be happy again

 

The love of your life is still out there

If you give up now, how is he or she going to find YOU 🙂

Let’s clear the air

Daily Prompt: Trace

Gone without a trace

It hurts how much I miss your face

You’ve left your mark on my heart

Although we are apart

I can still feel the spark

………………………………………………………..

Your warm embrace

Your gentle touch and

Sense of humour

I miss so much

…………………………………………………………

Even with all the joy and the laughter

I can’t pretend your silence doesn’t matter

The words you don’t say

Won’t make the hurts go away

……………………………………………………………

You are very dear to me

I hope deep down this truth you’ll see

That the walls you’ve built

I can’t even cross them with a stilt

………………………………………………………..

I have no intention to scream and shout

Because even through your sorrow

I cannot blindly follow

For my heart, I did not borrow.

 

 

Thanks for stopping by.

 

 

 

If you knew…

Image Credit: Pixabay.com

If you knew that special day

When you would have to go away

Away from all that you hold dear

Do you think your loved ones would care?

………………………………………………………………..

If you knew that special day

Could you put aside your pride?

And show them who you are inside

Opening up your heart so wide

……………………………………………………

If you knew that special day

Would there be anything special you’d like to say?

Or wished you said a different way

But let your emotions get in the way

……………………………………………………..

If you knew that special day

Would you live your life differently?

No longer sad or depressed

Constantly worrying about all the mess

Carrying the weight of the world on your chest

Or would you’ll finally take some rest?

……………………………………………………..

No one knows that special day

When each of us will fade away

So let us make a promise today

To LIVE each and everyday

Cherishing each other and making time for one another

Taking it one day at a time

We’ll see the MOST precious gift we have is TIME.

 

 

Thank you for stopping by. 🙂

 

Impact of our childhoods on our adult relationships

Until a few years ago I didn’t really understand and appreciate just how significant my childhood was in shaping who I am today.  My childhood was filled with different elements that made it good as well as some other elements that were not so good.  Overall, I would say compared to many people I had a good life.  There are people out there who have lived through childhood experiences that no child should ever have to endure.  Those who survived, what price does their adulthood now pay as a result of those experiences.

Do you realise just how much of an impact our childhood has on our relationships?

Relationships can be tricky.  You see, we are dealing with people’s feelings, emotions, expectations and even their past experiences knowingly and unknowingly.  Even the best relationships have problems and issues to deal with.  What makes them successful is not only how they treat with their problems but also their willingness and desire to remain with each other.

Some times  when a relationship fails we beat ourselves up over them while others are able to dust it off and move on almost as if it never happened.  Why is that?

I believe that some of our childhood experiences affect us as adults more than we think or would like to admit.  Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.  How so?

  1. Someone who grew up seeing their parents deal with problems by running away or avoiding the issues would more than likely do the same thing when faced with problems until they learn to respond differently.
  2. Someone who grew up seeing a lot of violence in the home might create a similar environment in their household or might stay in an abusive situation because it feels ‘familiar’ or ‘normal‘.
  3. Someone who saw infidelity or saw how it broke up their home as a child might have difficulty trusting people.
  4. Someone who experienced abandonment growing up might have difficulty trusting others and would probably always strive to be self-reliant.

The above scenarios are just a small fraction of some possibilities that some of us would have endured as children growing up.  Let me say upfront, not because someone had a tough childhood means they would automatically repeat the same pattern.  What I would say however, is that the negative experiences do affect us in some way.   To what extent I can’t say because that would vary from individual to individual.

So ask yourself the questions and be honest with yourself.

  1. How much of your childhood affects how you parent?
  2. How much of your childhood affects how you love others and yourself?
  3. How much of your childhood affects how you receive love?
  4. How much of your childhood affects how much you trust other people?
  5. How much of your childhood affects your ability to let others get close you?
  6. How much of your childhood affects why you like what you like or don’t like certain things or certain people?
  7. How much of your childhood affects your ability to forgive?

The fact is, only you can honestly answer those questions.  I’ve learnt that no matter how long ago the pain or hurt occurred in our childhood once it was never addressed or given closure it affects us and our relationships.

We can pretend it does not bother us or act like it never happened but in our subconscious and conscious mind it is there. The memories may be in the corner covered up but they’re still there.  Ignoring them won’t make them go away.  When you think you’re over it, life has a way of bringing it to the surface and because we have never dealt with it, there is often chaos and drama.

Many times when we enter relationships we only enter with the knowledge of what we’ve seen or been told by that special someone.  The average person does not lay out all their hurt for the world to see.   We bury it in an effort to forget so that we can function and have some measure of normalcy in our lives.  We call it self-preservation and our brain does that to help us initially but we can only hide for so long.

When relationships fail, it’s not always because of what is seen on the surface but sometimes the issue is much deeper.  No, it’s not our job to fix the person we’re with!  We have your own issues to address before we can help anyone else.  They must be willing and ready to face their own truths and address them one at a time.  That is the hard truth.

Some people over the years have been able to work through their childhood experiences to live better, happier lives. Facing some of those memories can be tough but it is possible to find peace within ourselves so we can truly move forward.

There is no doubt in my mind that our childhood can and does impact our adult lives.  How we let it impact our relationships is up to us.  When relationships fail it can be a tough pill to swallow.  After all, we’ve invested our time, our hearts and resources into the experience.   Cherish the good memories from your childhood and get help in working through the challenging ones so they don’t keep you stuck.

May you find the strength and courage to address the pain and hurt that you are dealing with.  Those of us that have children owe it to them to get resolution of our own issues so we don’t repeat the cycle of  pain.  We can’t help them until we help ourselves.

Thanks for reading.