Of all the words that we could use to describe ourselves why would we choose “failure”.
Failure is a word that is given meaning as a result of something that has happened or perhaps did not happen the way it was intended. It is sometimes used to describe an event, a thing and even people.
Are you a failure? You are what YOU believe and how you behave!
You are only a “failure” when and if YOU accept that title. For a failure is someone who has accepted defeat. They refuse to fight for what they want. They lack perseverance and a burning desire to overcome their obstacles.
Failure as it relates to people, is a type of attitude and a behaviour. It is a choice.
So why not, choose differently? Let’s choose to persevere! No matter how tough things get, no matter what negative talk they throw at us, even when we’re standing alone. It is the will to persevere that would bring us through anything.
There is no shame in failing at something especially if you have given it your best.
Failure is just a word never let it define YOU. You define who you are by your actions and behaviour.
Failure should NEVER be allowed to stop us from trying for that is when we truly fail.
For as long as I could remember, I have always heard the term “gift” in relation to someone’s special talent or ability and wondered, what was my special gift? What is that one thing outside of my physical attributes and personality that made me truly unique? I never knew for sure what that special ‘thing’ was or how to find it and that sometimes left me feeling unfulfilled.
You see, despite holding various positions in different organizations over the years I could never shake the feeling that I was supposed to be doing something more with my life. If you have ever been there or you are still trying to find yourself then you know how frustrating that can be. I will share with you how I found my gift; some of the challenges I faced along the way and how I overcame them.
Definition – What is a gift?
When I use the term ‘gift’ here, I am referring to that unique ability or talent embedded within you that no one else can do the way you do. It is what makes you – YOU! 🙂 It’s like a finger print – no one else in the world has your unique prints. Whether that gift is singing, dancing, cooking, teaching, story telling, poetry, interior design, hair dressing or photography just to name a few – no one can execute it the way you do, no matter how hard they try.
Where does your gift come from?
Some say, that we’re born with it. Others say that it is something you develop over time. There is also the belief that, a ‘gift’ is a blessing from God. I believe ALL of the above is true.
I believe that from as early as the womb we are blessed with unique and special talents and abilities from God. If we develop them correctly can make us great and successful in this life. Likewise, if the ‘gift’ is left undeveloped it could result in us feeling lost and unfulfilled in life.
This was something I struggled with for many years. You see, I was not ready mentally and spiritually for the journey. My life was filled with all sorts of distractions such as negative and unhealthy relationships, poor view of myself and a poor attitude. I lacked the drive and motivation to go after what I claimed I really wanted and often made a lot of excuses as to why I could not succeed.
The PROCESS – here are some things I did to help me through this.
Freed myself from all the negative people in my life. I recognized how their contributions only held me back and decided it was time I moved on.
I decided “enough is enough”. No more self-doubt and self-pity. It was time to stand up and take an active role in shaping my happiness.
I started to monitor my thoughts. The saying “words have power” is so true especially when they are coming out of your mouth. I was sometimes the negative voice in my head, so I told myself to “SHUT UP”. “Starting from today, if you have nothing good to say about yourself or others just be quiet!”
Improve my attitude. Many times we often underestimate how important our attitude is to our success – not only in finding our gift but in our everyday lives as well. To discover your gift, I’ve found that gratitude, humility, patience, positivity, determination and perseverance are key elements that we should foster to not only find our gift but develop it.
I limited and removed any negative distractions.The distractions I am referring to included: watching too much television, excessive gaming on my devices, excessive partying, hanging out with people who are constantly negative and any addictions. Don’t let your distractions continue to have control over your mind, body or spirit. Take control of your time and you’ll take control of your life.
I created a list of the things that I ‘loved’ doing versus what I ‘liked’ doing.These are the things that made me happiest when I was doing them. Please note , that nothing is insignificant, trivial or unimportant, if it is something you LOVE doing, be sure to list it.
I confided in someone I trusted and whose opinion I respected. Please note, that this would ideally be someone who has known you at least 5 or more years. This person should be someone who is constructive in their feedback. If you feel you don’t have anyone, I would suggest keeping a journal. List your thoughts, aspirations and fears. Be your own best friend!
I regularly prayed and talked to God. God is always with you, don’t be afraid to reach out to him through prayer and he will provide the answers you need. Ask him for guidance, strength, patience or courage whatever you feel you need and he will grant it to you. Open your mind and don’t limit yourself to only what you can see and imagine for yourself. THINK BIG!
Don’t let FEAR of the unknown or what people might think paralyze you and keep you stuck. I used to be concerned about what people might think about my new pursuit but when I weighed who stood to benefit the most when I succeeded – I didn’t care about those people anymore.
I started believing in myself and my abilities. We ALL have something uniquely specific to us that can ADD VALUE to the lives of others. Explore and nurture it!
I had to learn to be patient with myself. I found everything was taking too long and wondered if I would ever have my breakthrough. I had to focus more on improving myself and my thinking and spend less time worrying about the days that went by. Remember, it’s a process!
No matter what that little ‘voice of doubt’ might chant as it sits in the corner of your brain. Don’t ever give up!
Don’t focus on what others are doing or saying. Your success, your happiness and your future should be your primary focus. The focus of this exercise is YOU no one else. I understand how difficult it could be at times when we look at other people lives and it seems to be so much better than ours but trust me, they have their own crap and issues that they are dealing with too. Stay focused!
Power of forgiveness. Unforgiveness has kept me stuck for a long time and it was only through forgiving those people in my life that wronged me that I was able to really grow and find happiness. Until I released myself from the hurt, pain and anger they caused me, I could not really move forward. It is time to set yourself FREE, this is not about them.
Many of us go through life without purpose and direction and it does not have to be that way. If you are tired of doing the same old, same old and you are really ready to shake off fear and go after your passion, then there is no time like the present to take action. I am happy to say that my gift is writing and helping others. This blog makes me happy. The feedback from my readers encourage and motivate me.
When I use my gift it does not feel like work because I enjoy doing it so much. I don’t get tired of doing it because there is a passion and love for what I am doing. Your gift should benefit others – always bringing joy, pleasure and happiness when you use it. I believe once your gift meets that criteria you are on the right track.
Some say they feel something and yet, others feel nothing
Isn’t that strange, why is it, only a few change?
What’s the difference? Some took ACTION
The rest with no traction, stayed stuck in the muck
Any progress made, just left there to fade
Still chilling with their crew, who often have nothing good to do
One step forward, two steps back
Angry with the world for what’s left of their soul
If you’re not getting traction, it’s TIME to TAKE ACTION
Please don’t sit there trying to refute
What we both know, is the undeniable truth
You’ve lost your way and I’m saying, it’s okay
It’s the dawn of a new day and you WILL find you way
For as you change your disposition
You will create a new position
One full of hope, strength and truth
Come one, come all and pay tribute
To new beginnings
By: Cherylene Nicholas
Message: Simply saying positive things is not going to fix your problems. For real and lasting change to take place in our lives we have to take action, make changes in our thinking, behaviour and sometimes in our friends (removing any negative people). If we can do this, then the real transformation can start.
Have you ever felt as though you were destined do more with your life but could never put your finger on it? I have been there and I know how frustrating and depressing that can be.
Do not be discouraged. I have highlighted eleven things that I believe play a huge role in keeping us stuck in life.
Distractions – refer to all of those things in life that prevent you from seeing and being everything you’re meant to be.
Negativity – will only break you down. This can be internal or external.
Stuck in your comfort zone – take small steps to overcome your fears. Don’t let fear keep you from learning new things.
Poor Attitude – our attitudes both positive and negative play an important role in developing and shaping who we are and the quality of our life experiences. Be mindful of the messages you are sending.
LackingGratitude – showing our gratitude to others for all they have done and do for us is good, not only for the soul but our relationships with them.
LackingPerseverance –perseverance is that drive to see things through no matter what. It is critical to our success without it we tend to give up easily. We only fail when we stop trying.
Lacking Guidance – there is no shame in asking for help. No one has all the answers, when in doubt I suggest prayer. Ask God to guide you as you look for answers and I believe that he will give you the answers in a way that you will understand.
Unforgiveness – is toxic and unhealthy. When you choose not to forgive, you are choosing to keep yourself a prisoner to that negative experience. Forgive that person and set yourself free. It’s not for them but for YOU.
Not knowing your WORTH and LOVING yourself – If this is broken you have to fix it. Repair this relationship with yourself. You are worthy! You are an amazing person with so much to offer. You CAN do anything you put your mind to.
Denial – gives us a false picture of what’s really going on. Take a step back and try to view your situation as a ‘bystander’ and not a ‘participant’, the aim here is objectivity. Once you have done this, take the necessary corrective action.
Self-pity – this is a state of mind. This is when we choose to allow negative experiences to lock us into emotions that keep us prisoners of those experiences. STOP BEING THE VICTIM AND BE THE VICTOR!
The common element in each scenario is YOU. YOU are ultimately in control. YOU have the power and say in your life as to what goes and what stays. Remember that!!!
Get behind the driver’s seat and take control of your life today! 🙂