The Truth about Stubbornness

Hear Nothing, See Nothing, Do Not Speak

Stubbornness is an unwillingness to change one’s attitude or position on something, even when the alternative is better.

Is there an upside to stubbornness? Not really but then again it depends on who you ask and where you fall in the equation.  Let’s take a look.

UPSIDE  to STUBBORNNESS:

  1. You get to stay exactly as you ARE  because you already KNOW the answers to everything.
  2. You automatically ‘win’ every disagreement because no one with a true understanding of the situation would expel much energy or effort trying to convince you otherwise.
  3. You don’t have to accept change.  Your way is the best way and there is nobody out there that can tell you different.

 

DOWNSIDE to STUBBORNNESS:

  1. Limits your growth not only in knowledge but also experiences.
  2. Makes accepting and implementing change difficult because you’re so stuck in your own ways.
  3. People tend to avoid any meaningful exchanges with you because they don’t want to end up in an argument.
  4. Blocks and limits understanding because of your unwillingness to show  understanding towards others.
  5. Hinders progress not only for yourself but others especially if you are in a position of power.
  6. It is a selfish way of interacting with the world around you.

There will always be someone out there with a different perspective, new ideas and concepts that challenge or may even improve our current way of doings things.   We don’t have to like or agree with everything that is shared with us but we should at least respect the fact that a contribution is being made and do the right thing and that is – to genuinely hear them out.

Open-mindedness should not be what we expect of others when it comes to our beliefs and opinions especially when we ourselves may be closed-minded to what others have to say. 

Stubbornness that blocks and disregards the opinions, thoughts and feelings of others is a building block to nowhere.

 

Thank you for stopping by.  Have a great day!

 

A Storm is Brewing

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A storm is brewing and I can feel it

I know its coming even though I can’t see it

Your intentions are clear and it’s just to cause despair

We both know deep down you don’t truly care

 

A storm is brewing

And as the darkness fills your head

I hope you know your actions you’ll someday dread

The games you play will catch up with you one day

There’s no excuse and you can’t call a truce

For with all of your internal turmoil

Your own plans you will foil

 

I refuse to return to the old days

No more manipulation and stringing’ me along 

So keep your distance

I have a new found persistence

Brighter days are ahead

So it’s time for us to put this issue to bed

 

A storm is brewing

As you attempt to disturb my peace and joy

These lives you will not destroy like some kind of toy

I’ll secure all that is near and dear to me

And trust in the Lord to deliver me

A sweet victory.

 

 

We all face various storms in our lives and I’m here to tell you that you CAN overcome them.  Don’t let despair and fear keep you from claiming what is truly yours. Stand up for yourself and believe that YOU ARE WORTHY of HAPPINESS and PEACE OF MIND.

Thanks for stopping by.  Have a great night. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

People Change

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People change and that’s inevitable

Because no one stays the same

Causing relationships to get a little strange

Sometimes it’s for the better

Sometimes for the worse

This of course can hurt us the most

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As love and friendship can sometimes become a stranger

Well intended communication can turn a disaster

As distance becomes the new comfort zone

Because no one wants to pick up the phone

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Silence and avoidance now the common preference

In an effort to make my heart sore

You used your words to pierce my core

So now our time shared is no more

Maybe it’s me, maybe it’s you

Maybe all of it is true

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Positive change is great; making you want to celebrate

But negative change can really make you sad

In times like that, you can only speak your mind

And hope that in time, betterment they will find

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I’ve learnt that change is necessary

Although difficult to accept at times

It can bring with it growth and wisdom

Even freedom and salvation.

 

 

By: Cherylene Nicholas

 

 

 

The Power of Love

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Let’s talk about ‘love’.  The kind of love that actually grows with the couple over time and not diminishes. The kind of love that keeps people together especially during the tough times; through uncertainty and despite  imperfections.   The kind of love that transcends distance and time.

The kind of love that keeps you so focused on your loved one and the happiness you want for each other that you don’t allow distractions like other people to steal your joy.  The kind of love that can forgive, regroup and truly move forward together by mutual choice as ‘one’ learning from mistakes to build a better, brighter and stronger future together.

This type of love is a powerful thing and it should never be taken for granted.  I recognise that we can’t help who we fall in love with but sometimes we meet people who do not reciprocate that kind of love and they tend to take advantage of our love for them.   They may abuse it and their actions can sometimes drain us in every sense of the word and can sometimes leave us feeling angry, resentful, depressed and unhappy with them, the world and ourselves.

So, what do we do?  Choose not to love another human being for as long as we live? Be overly cautious and keep everyone at arm’s length never allowing them to get too close to us?  I respect these self-preservation tactics but I also know that “when it’s your time, it’s your time” there’s no escaping love.

I have learnt that love can and will find you no matter how good you think you’re hiding.  No matter the obstacles and walls you put up to protect your heart from the influence of another.  Love is unpredictable and it will find you when you least expect it hence you’re never ready when it comes.  It can knock you off your feet. It can be intoxicating and overwhelming – feeling good and scary all at the same time.  It is known to consume your thoughts and effect your behaviour in ways you could not imagine.

When and if you find that special someone who melts your heart and you melt theirs – treasure each other, the moments and the memories you share.  Love although unpredictable is also beautiful and special because it is not something you experience everyday so cherish it.

Thanks for stopping by.   🙂

 

Stretch Yourself

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Thank you Lord for another day.  Thank you for another opportunity to do better and be better. Thank you for all YOU have done, are doing and will do in our lives. Give us the strength and courage to stretch ourselves so that we can become the individuals we were meant to be. Amen!

That was my prayer for us. Many times we go through life and some of us tend to limit ourselves and our experiences because we are afraid.  I know what that is like because it used to keep me stuck.   Afraid of failure, afraid of the unknown, afraid of what others might say and afraid of change.

How many experiences, opportunities, potential relationships and friendships did you allow yourself to miss out on because you were afraid? Being afraid or ‘fearful’ is not all bad because this is our brain’s way of protecting us from anything or anyone it feels threatened by.

However, although the brain means well this emotion ‘fear’ can also paralyze us in moments when we need to act.  It can limit us and cause us to miss out on potentially good and positive experiences because we’ve become stuck in this emotional state where we start seeing everyone and everything as a potential threat.

This type of existence hinders our learning because we would typically avoid trying new things. Learning is a part of ‘living’ and if you choose to avoid new experiences, new opportunities and new things then you deny yourself the opportunity to widen your knowledge and your experiences therefore limiting your learning.

Today I want to encourage you to put your fear aside and stretch yourself.  Let’s look at some of the best case/ worse case scenarios of stretching yourself:

  1. Try something new it could be a new food, new sport, new activity (dancing, cooking class or a defense class) anything you build up the courage to try – either you’ll like it or you won’t and that’s okay.  Don’t be discouraged just try something else.  This is an opportunity for you to grow and learn more about yourself.  You’ll learn some likes and dislikes you didn’t know about – so go into it with an open mind.
  2. Open up to the possibility of sharing your life with others. Maybe you’ll meet someone who will become your best friend, lover, or future spouse only time will tell. Maybe you’ll just be friends or maybe you’ll learn that not everyone that smiles with you is your friend. Either way there is an opportunity to learn something about others as well as yourself.
  3. Change is good and is sometimes necessary for betterment to take place.  It is good to change-up our routine sometimes and create new ones. This could be as simple as taking a different route to work or home; . It could even be eating whole wheat bread instead of white bread, adding a fruit and vegetables to our daily meal plan.  This will help to foster greater flexibility and adaptability in your life.  Change can be good for you so rather than run from it sometimes based on the potential benefits and lessons to be learnt we should embrace it.
  4. The unknown or future is just that because no one knows what the future holds.    Hiding or shutting ourselves away from others and not participating in life does not help prepare us for the future if nothing else it can put us at a disadvantage. We should choose to live, love, learn and grow each and everyday and trust that our plans will workout in our favour when that time comes.

Stretch yourself, stretch your understanding, stretch your experiences, stretch your opportunities, stretch your relationships, stretch your body, mind and spirit. With each day that goes by understand that the only thing keeping you back is YOU. 

Don’t let fear limit your possibilities for growth, wisdom and understanding.

Just take it one day at a time. 🙂

Don’t let your PAIN hinder your GROWTH

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Everything happens for a reason both the good and the bad. Some people come into your life to build you up while others try to break you down.  Every encounter has a purpose ultimately it is up to you to use it to make you better, stronger and wiser.

How many of you can say that you’ve never been hurt emotionally, physically or psychologically by another human being?  I’ve been hurt and I don’t feel bad acknowledging this because even Jesus had his share of hurt, pain and disappointments.

How many of you can say that when you were hurt that it did not negatively affect you?   Whenever, I feel hurt sometimes it affects my mood, my appetite and even my interactions with others. The fact is, we all react to pain differently but we all react nonetheless. 

PAIN is a part of life.  There is no way we would be able to go through this life and have everything and everyone in our lives be perfect 24/7.  It is unrealistic because life itself is unpredictable.  We have to learn to handle our pain and emotions in a manner that does not leave us feeling defeated, helpless and broken.

The circumstance may have labelled you the “victim” but you can determine if you accept or reject that label. Take a note of the following, DON’T LET YOUR PAIN… 

  1. STEAL YOUR FUTURE.
  2. HOLD YOU BACK IN LIFE.
  3. PARALYZE YOU.
  4. KEEP YOU STUCK.
  5. FEED YOU EXCUSES FOR STAYING WHERE YOU ARE.
  6. BLIND YOU FROM YOUR TRUTH.
  7. DENY YOU JOY AND HAPPINESS.
  8. SHUT THE PEOPLE OUT WHO REALLY LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU.
  9. SMOTHER YOU ANYMORE.
  10. CONTROL YOUR LIFE.

Some facts I thought you should know:

  1. YOU ARE NOT PERFECT AND THAT’S OKAY. NO ONE IS!
  2. YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR CIRCUMSTANCE – SO DON’T JUST SIT BACK AND ACCEPT THAT’S HOW IT IS.
  3. YOUR FUTURE IS ULTIMATELY UP TO YOU. 
  4. USE THE PAIN TO YOUR ADVANTAGE – LEARN FROM IT – GROW WISER AND STRONGER. 
  5. PAIN IS NOT OUR WEAKNESS. IT JUST MEANS WE ARE HUMAN.
  6. DON’T GIVE UP.

Time for the healing to begin. Find your purpose.  You were not put on this earth to be mediocre and unhappy.  You have a purpose and you have to find it.  Don’t let your pain stop your growth or keep you stuck in a rot.

Over the years with every situation I realized there was a lesson to be learnt. Not only about the people involved in it but about myself as well.  Ask yourself what is the ‘lesson’ to be learnt from this experience?  What good can you take from these lessons? Find it, so you can move forward.

You’ve made it this far!

Love does not live there anymore

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Do you remember when we were friends?

Thought we would be together until the end

You and me together and free

That’s how I thought we would always be

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With each experience we grew stronger

Falling in love more and more with each other

I had eyes only for YOU, so I thought my love was true

Always thought that was how love was supposed to be

Me loving you and you loving me

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As time went by we moved out of range

Moving in different directions, we were destined to change

Arguments became the new routine

Now cold as ice, you grew mean

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The waves were beating against our ship

I tried to save us but that was it

Enough is enough, it was time for me to get tough

It was time to jump ship and go ashore

Because love does not live there anymore.

By: Cherylene Nicholas