You’re not alone..

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There have been times in my life when I wished and even prayed for a simple answer to some of my problems that would clearly say, “Cherylene, do this or do that.”

There were also times when I didn’t feel like I would ever find the answers or my way out of some of the situations I found myself in.

I blamed everyone and everything for what was happening around me.  The bank, my ex, my family, the economy, work and ultimately life.  I honestly believed that the universe was just ganging up me and would not give me a break. The people around me didn’t seem to be faced with as many obstacles as I was and this made me angry and even a little resentful.  It is sad to say but I was not in a good place.

Everything just seemed to be falling a part.  Whenever I thought I had finally had a breakthrough something else would happen.   I was stressed out, frustrated and angry and one day I just hit my peak.  You know, the straw that broke the camel’s back kind of scenario.   I can tell you this now but I never told anyone else. Well, now the world will know but maybe this could help someone who is where I was.

I sat in my room and just started crying and crying like never before. I’m usually someone who holds her shit together and would just keep everything inside but this time was different.  This time I cried out to God because I realized that I was really angry with myself and God for ‘allowing’ me to get where I was.

I knew I could do better and be better but I just did not know how or where to start.  I  don’t know how long I sat there crying and just asking God why this was all happening to me and why he wouldn’t help me.

Then all of a sudden I felt a sense calm and peace fill me and my room.  I then heard a voice say, “You never asked for my help. You complain and complain about your problems but you never once asked me directly for my help.”

I sat there on my bed in shock and even doubting I heard anything because there was no one else around.  I was home alone just me, myself and I and yet I felt ashamed of myself.  I kneeled down beside my bed and prayed and ask God to forgive me.  I asked for his guidance and direction in and over every aspect of my life.

Over the next few days, months and years I learnt to stop complaining about what was not right in my life and learned to give praise and thanks for what was right.  I had to trust in God’s plan for my life and demonstrate that trust through my words and actions and not stress over the stuff I did not have the details for.

My life has changed and improved more than I thought possible  thanks to the favour and mercy of God in my life.  The good news is,  I know God is not done yet.     I had to make a conscious decision to change the way I was going about life – my thinking,  the words I would speak over my situations even some of the people I surrounded myself with. It was in no way easy but I see now that it was necessary.  I took that step of faith towards a new beginning and a better, happier life and I have no regrets.

I wish I had done it sooner but I recognise now that everything had to happen the way it did for me to truly appreciate where I am today.

It’s never too late.  If you’ve been crying out to God for help and direction and have not seen improvements in your life maybe, just maybe you’re not looking close enough to the answers or signs he has given you to get you where you need to be.

God gives us signs we just need to open ourselves up to seeing and receiving them.

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You’ve made it this far. You are more blessed than you know. Just had to stop by and tell you so.  Don’t give up!

Thank you for stopping by.  Make today and the rest of the week a great one. 🙂

It’s Time…

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It’s time and you know it!

You know the feeling but you can’t quite explain it

That feeling you get when you’ve reached your limit

That feeling that empowers you

But you let your second thoughts crowd out what you should do

Don’t look at me like that, you know I’m talking to YOU 🙂

 

It’s time so NO more delaying

We’ve been going round and round doing the same things

Then wondering why we can’t see any change

Constantly turning the same pages in our lives over and over

Haven’t you noticed we’re getting older?

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It’s time to make our move

We’re done procrastinating about what we’re going to do

It’s time to get ACTIVE and be PROACTIVE

In the things that we want and need to do

We have to stand up and start truly walking in our own shoes

We don’t have time to sit singing the blues

 

It’s time so you choose

Standing still we have so much to lose

So make this promise to yourself

No more sitting idly by on the shelf

If you don’t start now you’ll never forgive yourself.

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If not now, then when?

Who knows how or when it will all end?

To pursue your dream – you don’t have to be a king or queen

Besides, only in trying would you have seen

How possibly different your life could have been.

Think about it, maybe it’s time!

 

Tired of all the ‘would have’ and ‘could have’ thoughts. The reality is, in life there comes a time when we just have to stop making excuses for ourselves and others and just meaningfully go after what we claim to want and desire.

Anything worth getting requires effort and hard work.

Thank you for stopping by.  Make today a great one. 🙂

 

Music Reflections Mondays #20 – “Too Good At Goodbyes”

Welcome back to Music Reflection Mondays!  Most of last week I was bombarded by various radio stations with this song from Sam Smith called Too Good At Goodbye.    

Every time I hear it, it takes me back to chapters in my life when “goodbyes” were needed but were so difficult because of the emotional attachments.  The lyrics are so relatable to anyone who has been in a relationship that ended up taking more than it was giving or just was too toxic for you to continue to survive in.  I think he penned it beautifully.

Relationships come and relationships go and based on our history or patterns with our partners we adjust emotionally and expose less and less of true selves to reduce the feeling of loss and disappointment should things not work out.

It is a sad song as it highlights the emotions, thoughts and frustrations of someone in a relationship who is just so tired of the roller-coaster ride that walking away is the BEST alternative.   Walking away is never easy but I love Dua Lipa’s New Rules song.   I like how she list the rules as she attempts to get over the failed relationship.  She has a more upbeat approach to the situation. I love it!!!! 🙂

 

 

Review, Reflect and Reposition our thoughts

Saturday greetings to you all!  I hope this new day meets you all in good spirits.  After all it’s the beginning of the weekend short I know but sweet all the same. 🙂

Just wanted to drop in and leave a few reminders that I felt inspired to share with you guys today as we review, reflect and reposition our thoughts. 🙂

  1. It’s not always greener on the other side.  Sometimes our perception is often blinded and we often take for granted just how beautiful and brilliant our green really is. 
  2. When things get tough that’s not your sign to cut and run but rather a test of your resourcefulness and determination to get the job done.  🙂
  3. People come and go in our lives over our lifetime.  Let us be to others what we want and expect them to be to us.  If you want and expect loyalty – give it! If you want support – give it! If you want positive people in your life try to be a positive person.
  4. Happiness is not just for a chosen few but rather the few who are willing to pursue it.

Have a wonderful weekend! Stay blessed and not stressed.

Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

Health and Wellness Fridays – Toxic People

Hello and welcome back to Health and Wellness Fridays! It feels so good to be back. 🙂

Today I’m going to be talking about the effect toxic people can have on our health and wellness.    Let’s first look at some traits of toxic people.

Here are 14 signs of a toxic person or relationship.

  1. They are constantly negative towards you and others.
  2. Verbal, physical and psychological abuse is the norm in the relationship.
  3. They encourage and support you in negative behaviour.
  4. They are non-supportive when you need them most.
  5. They are manipulative.
  6. They never apologize and if they do it’s not genuine as they repeat the same behaviour over and over.
  7. They constantly expect you to prove yourself to them.
  8. They are constantly trying to control you what you wear, who you speak to, where you go and more.
  9. They don’t take responsibility for their own feelings or actions and blame you constantly for the way things are.
  10. The focus is always on them and what they need and want never about your needs or feelings.
  11. They leave you drained emotionally and physically.
  12. They tend to want you to spend less and less time with the people who love and care about you such as your family and friends.
  13. Your interactions with them leave you feeling stressed, depressed and or irritated.
  14.  Happy moments are far and few because you are always arguing with each other.  Or rather you are always defending yourself.

I have experienced this and I can tell you that such an existence in this world is just that an existence because you’re not living and I for one was not happy.  Any happiness I did experience was short-lived because of the constant drama and arguing.

Many times we allow ourselves to stay in toxic relationships and underestimate the impact these negative interactions can have on our health and overall well-being.

Did you know?

Some researchers have even looked at the correlation between psychological and emotional stress, and its relationship to increased risk of illness and disease.

Here are some possible side effects of trying to live within a toxic relationship or among toxic people.

  1. Constant emotional turmoil – as you’re either stressed, angry, agitated or depressed.
  2. Emotional distress can trigger other symptoms such as loss of appetite or over eating resulting in rapid weight loss or weight gain.  It all depends on how you treat or cope with your stress.
  3. The frustrations of the interactions could trigger an increase in other habits such as drinking and smoking.
  4. Hair loss.
  5. Headaches or migraines.
  6. Trouble sleeping
  7. High blood pressure
  8. Anxiety
  9. Poor self-image

I’m sure the list can go on and on because the symptoms are different for everyone.  Some are mild and others can be more severe as others may have thoughts of suicide or even suffer a heart attack. Stress especially the  chronic type over time wears down not just the mind but the body and spirit.

What can someone do in such a situation?

I could say to you run like the wind and don’t look back but that’s what you’ve probably heard before and for some reason or another you’ve chosen to stay.

Why do we stay? For some, it’s love while for others it’s the fear and uncertainty of what life would be without that special someone, fear of starting over because they are unsure about themselves and their abilities.

When I stayed back then, I was blinded by my love for the other person so much that I did not allow myself to love me enough to get out of that damaging situation.  I was also fearful and uncertain of how  I would manage without him in my life but I did it!

It was different but each day got better and easier and I not only grew in self-confidence but my knowledge of myself, my true strengths and weaknesses. I could look into the mirror and finally see ME for the beautiful and amazing person that I am. 🙂

There’s nothing wrong with loving another human being just as long as we share and show that same love and more towards ourselves as well!

Toxic relationships both in the short-term and long-term can deplete us on every level imaginable, if we give them the power, space and freedom to.  Read the questions below and answer them honestly.

  • Ask yourself, is this situation worth your life?
  • Are you truly happy with the way things are?
  • Who are the two or more most supportive people in your life?
  • If you were looking at your life from the someone else’s shoes – what would be your advice be to them?
  • If this negative person does not change their behaviour towards you, are you willing to do something about it?

It’s your life, your health, your happiness and your decision.  Whatever you do, choose to love yourself enough to reposition yourself into a situation that is healthier and happier for YOU.

Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

 

Being Positive

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Being positive is sometimes easier said than done.  Of course, things will happen that can make us sad or upset and that’s okay because that proves that we have not gone numb.

You should know that being positive does not mean that we don’t feel negative emotions anymore it just means we don’t allow ourselves to stay stuck in them.

Being positive simply means we are making a conscious effort to control our emotions and not having them control us!  This is speaks to our attitude, thinking, behaviour and vocabulary.

I remember my struggle with this that is why I am so passionate about this topic and may highlight it from time to time.   It is easy to let the negativity around us drain our happiness and discourage us from pursuing our dreams but we don’t have to.

Use your words, your thoughts, your relationships as well as your actions to foster and encourage greater positivity in your life.

Remember, being positive is a choice!

Make the rest of your week a great one!  Thanks for stopping by.