A Storm is Brewing

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A storm is brewing and I can feel it

I know its coming even though I can’t see it

Your intentions are clear and it’s just to cause despair

We both know deep down you don’t truly care

 

A storm is brewing

And as the darkness fills your head

I hope you know your actions you’ll someday dread

The games you play will catch up with you one day

There’s no excuse and you can’t call a truce

For with all of your internal turmoil

Your own plans you will foil

 

I refuse to return to the old days

No more manipulation and stringing’ me along 

So keep your distance

I have a new found persistence

Brighter days are ahead

So it’s time for us to put this issue to bed

 

A storm is brewing

As you attempt to disturb my peace and joy

These lives you will not destroy like some kind of toy

I’ll secure all that is near and dear to me

And trust in the Lord to deliver me

A sweet victory.

 

 

We all face various storms in our lives and I’m here to tell you that you CAN overcome them.  Don’t let despair and fear keep you from claiming what is truly yours. Stand up for yourself and believe that YOU ARE WORTHY of HAPPINESS and PEACE OF MIND.

Thanks for stopping by.  Have a great night. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

Oil and Water

We’re like oil and water,

We don’t mix

No matter how hard we try

There’s just no fix

Round and round we go

Unable to sustain any type of meaningful flow

My smile is gone and I’ve lost my glow

I think it’s time for you to go

I’ve waited too long this much I know

…………………………………………………………..

Time for me to accept

That this path I must reject

Because life is about living

And with you it feels so draining

That my head is always spinning

And it is clear no one is winning

……………………………………………………

So it’s best that we separate

Before I evaporate.

Dangers of unrealistic expectations

Expectations we all have them.  I would even go so far to say, that it is apart of the human condition, in that it comes naturally to us.  We create expectations of ourselves and others.  Sometimes our expectations are realistic and other times they are just unrealistic.    Realistic expectations are great because they are achievable and most times even reasonable.

Unrealistic expectations on the other hand, are the total opposite. They are often unattainable and unreasonable.  They can have negative effects on relationships and the individual.   I have lived through and survived both. Today I want to highlight some of the things I learnt along the way and how I overcame them.

Some negatives that could arise due to unrealistic expectations within the relationship are:

  1. Create unnecessary conflict
  2. Foster resentment
  3. Increase stress levels
  4. Breakdown in communication
  5. Avoidance of each other when possible
  6. Baffled ( as you try to find logic in what is being asked of you)

Some negatives that could arise from self-inflicted unrealistic expectations are:

  1. Bring on depression
  2. Increase stress levels
  3. Increase the risk of failure – (if the goal or target set is not realistic you will fail)
  4. Beating up yourself emotionally – (negative self-talk)
  5. Foster resentment towards yourself – (for not meeting the expectation)
  6. Cause loss of appetite for some people – (side effect from the stress)
  7. Trigger over eating in others – (side effect from the stress)
  8. Negatively impact your health sometimes mentally and or physically.
  9. Hinder your happiness

Some examples of unrealistic expectations include but are not limited to the following:

  1. Relying on your loved ones to make and keep you happy.
  2. Expecting to never fail at anything.
  3. Expecting to be great at everything.
  4. Expecting everybody you meet to like you.
  5. Expecting the people you love to never make a mistake.
  6. You can ‘fix’ everyone. 
  7. You can do everything yourself.
  8. You don’t need anyone.
  9. You are in control of everything.
  10. Our kids want we want for them.

How I overcame my unrealistic expectations:

  1. Stop expecting others to be perfect.
  2. Admit and accept that I was not perfect.
  3. Be realistic and honest with myself. Don’t expect of others things  I do not expect of  myself.
  4. Put myself in the other person’s shoe. Not because I am good at something means everyone else is too.
  5. How we communicate what we want, is just as important as what we communicate, if not more.
  6. Apologize (where I was guilty) and genuinely try do better.
  7. Make a list of anything I deemed was unreasonable and I would try to communicate same to whomever was guilty of it and try to come up with a better way forward.

It took time and practice but I have gotten better at managing my expectations of others and myself.  I’ve seen the benefits both in my relationships and myself.  Always aim to be realistic and reasonable in your expectations.

Thank you for stopping by.  🙂

A Relationship Maze

Daily Prompt: Maze

Image Credit: Pixabay.com

A relationship maze

Can have you in a daze

As you keep going round and round

You can sometimes end up feeling like a clown

………………………………………………….

Drowning in your emotions

Leaves you constantly in motion

Yet never taking you anywhere

Is this really making sense dear?

……………………………………………………….

Maybe you are just too different

Wishful thinking

That this could be permanent

I’ve heard them say, “opposites attract”

Maybe in your case that was a fact

……………………………………………………..

But now the things that made you different

Have caused you to become very complacent

So where do you go from here?

Other than to the resolution you’ve always fear

……………………………………………………………

Black is black and white is white

Forward you go with all your might

Knowing that you’ve put up a good fight.

 

By: Cherylene Nicholas

 

Hi guys, this is not me giving relationship advice.  All I can tell you is what worked for me based on my situation.  Sometimes in relationships, we can become so engrossed in them that we often overlook and play down things that hurt us and negatively affect the relationship and more importantly ourselves.

Once you’ve genuinely given and done all you can sometimes there comes a time in the relationship where you just have to let go for your own sanity and well-being.  Change can be scary but sometimes based on the situation it is necessary.

Thanks for stopping by. 🙂