Expectations we all have them. I would even go so far to say, that it is apart of the human condition, in that it comes naturally to us. We create expectations of ourselves and others. Sometimes our expectations are realistic and other times they are just unrealistic. Realistic expectations are great because they are achievable and most times even reasonable.
Unrealistic expectations on the other hand, are the total opposite. They are often unattainable and unreasonable. They can have negative effects on relationships and the individual. I have lived through and survived both. Today I want to highlight some of the things I learnt along the way and how I overcame them.
Some negatives that could arise due to unrealistic expectations within the relationship are:
Create unnecessary conflict
Increase stress levels
Breakdown in communication
Avoidance of each other when possible
Baffled ( as you try to find logic in what is being asked of you)
Some negatives that could arise from self-inflicted unrealistic expectations are:
Bring on depression
Increase stress levels
Increase the risk of failure – (if the goal or target set is not realistic you will fail)
Beating up yourself emotionally – (negative self-talk)
Foster resentment towards yourself – (for not meeting the expectation)
Cause loss of appetite for some people – (side effect from the stress)
Trigger over eating in others – (side effect from the stress)
Some examples of unrealistic expectations include but are not limited to the following:
Relying on your loved ones to make and keep you happy.
Expecting to never fail at anything.
Expecting to be great at everything.
Expecting everybody you meet to like you.
Expecting the people you love to never make a mistake.
You can ‘fix’ everyone.
You can do everything yourself.
You don’t need anyone.
You are in control of everything.
Our kids want we want for them.
How I overcame my unrealistic expectations:
Stop expecting others to be perfect.
Admit and accept that I was not perfect.
Be realistic and honest with myself. Don’t expect of others things I do not expect of myself.
Put myself in the other person’s shoe. Not because I am good at something means everyone else is too.
How we communicate what we want, is just as important as what we communicate, if not more.
Apologize (where I was guilty) and genuinely try do better.
Make a list of anything I deemed was unreasonable and I would try to communicate same to whomever was guilty of it and try to come up with a better way forward.
It took time and practice but I have gotten better at managing my expectations of others and myself. I’ve seen the benefits both in my relationships and myself. Always aim to be realistic and reasonable in your expectations.
Welcome back to Health and Fridays! Thank you Lord for seeing us through another week. Today, we’re going to be listing some of the possible health benefits of using turmeric.
Turmeric or Curcuma longacomes from the turmeric plant. It is a culinary spice used to add flavour and colour to a variety of dishes. It is also used in herbal medicine and fabric dye. It is native to India and Southeast Asia. In its unprocessed form the root resembles the ginger root. On the inside however, it is yellow in colour. Turmeric is rich in iron and manganese. It is also a good source of vitamin B6, dietary fiber, copper, and potassium.
Turmeric can be obtained in many forms – some forms include natural root, ground powder form, as a supplement even as an essential oil. According to the World’s Healthiest Foods, most of the studies done on turmeric tend to focus on its main active ingredient, curcumin.
Some of the studies done suggest the following benefits:
Boost brain function
Lower the risk for brain disease such as Alzheimer’s and dementia
Lower risk of heart disease
Lower cancer risk
Help with depression
Treatment of gastrointestinal issues such as constipation and cramping
Ease menstrual symptoms
Detoxifying the liver
Natural antiseptic and antibacterial agent
Slow the aging process
Rejuvenate the skin
Reduce the appearance of wrinkles
Here are some ways to use turmeric:
Add it to your mealsalong with black pepper. Most of the curcumin that is ingested gets metabolized before it can get absorbed. Piperine present in black pepper is said to help make curcumin more bio-available.
Add fat when consuming turmeric. Turmeric is fat-soluble and thus much better absorbed when taken with fat. Use healthy fats like olive oil, coconut oil, etc.
Drink it in tea. You can use either the powder or the fresh root. Add it to boiling water and allow it to simmer for 10 minutes. I sometimes add a small piece of fresh ginger. Strain into a cup and add a little honey to taste.
Apply on the skin in the form of a mask. Using some honey, yogurt or milk with a teaspoon of turmeric in a bowl. Mix ingredients in a bowl until it forms a smooth paste. Apply to clean skin. Leave this mask on for at least 20 minutes before washing off.
Precautions and warnings:
If consumed in large quantities turmeric can have the following side effects on the body such as nausea, dizziness and diarrhea.
Turmeric might promote a menstrual period or stimulate the uterus, putting the pregnancy at risk as such it is suggested that it not be used in medicinal amounts during pregnancy.
Turmeric can make gallbladder problems worse. Do not use turmeric if you have gallstones or a bile duct obstruction.
Turmeric might slow blood clotting and might increase the risk of bruising and bleeding in people with bleeding disorders.
The Curcumin might decrease blood sugar in people with diabetes. Use with caution and moderation. Be sure to monitor your blood sugar.
Turmeric can cause stomach upset in some people. It might make stomach problems such as GERD worse. Avoid turmeric if it worsens symptoms of GERD.
Turmeric might lower testosterone levels and decrease sperm movement when taken by mouth by men. This might reduce fertility. Turmeric should be used cautiously by people trying to have a baby.
Taking high amounts of turmeric might prevent the absorption of iron. Turmeric should be used with caution in people with iron deficiency.
Turmeric might slow blood clotting. It might cause extra bleeding during and after surgery. Stop using turmeric at least 2 weeks before a scheduled surgery.
As always remember, moderation is key and always consult your doctor. I can’t stress that enough.
Welcome back to Health and Wellness Fridays! Today we’re going to be looking at tomatoes scientifically known as Solanum lycopersicum. Tomatoes originated in South America and can now be found all over the world. It is the berry of a plant that comes from the Nightshade family that belong to a scientific family of plants called Solanaceae .
As a member of the nightshade family, tomatoes contain glycoalkaloids, toxic substances that act like a natural pesticides or fungicides in the plant. While glycoalkaloids are poisonous to humans, their levels are quite low in tomatoes making them safe to consume according to Food Safety Watch .
The tomato is technically a fruit but it is also categorised as a vegetable. Tomatoes are juicy, soft and have many seeds. They vary in shape, size , colour, texture and flavour. The most common colour is red but it can also be yellow, orange or green.
According to The World’s Healthiest Foods, tomatoes are rich in vitamin C, vitamin K, biotin and molybdenum. They are also a good source of iron, zinc, potassium, copper, manganese, fibre, vitamin A, vitamin B6, vitamin E, niacin, folate and phosphorus just to name a few.
Tomatoes have large amounts of the antioxidant known as lycopene which some studies revealed was good at fighting and preventing cancer associated with the prostate, breast, lung, bladder, ovaries, colon and pancreas.
According to some of the studies done here are some of the health benefits of including tomatoes in your diet:
Protects the skin against sun damage
Prevent kidney stones and gallstones
Counters the effect of cigarette smoke
Prevents urinary tract infections
Support a healthy pregnancy
Regulate blood pressure
Protects the heart
Strong and shiny hair
Regulate blood sugar
Help with constipation
Support vision health
Reduce chronic pain
Aid in depression
Some Possible Risks:
Chemical-based tomato farming involves spraying tomatoes with large quantities of pesticides and insecticides. Hence, organically grown tomatoes are recommended to reduce pesticide exposure.
Tomatoes are high in potassium and should be consumed in moderation especially when taking beta-blockers. Consuming too much potassium can be harmful for those whose kidneys are not fully functional.
Persons who suffer from gastro-esophageal reflux disease (GERD) may experience an increase in symptoms such as heartburn and regurgitation. However, reactions vary from person to person.
Although tomato allergy is rare, they can cause allergic reactions in people allergic to grass pollen causing itching in the mouth, scratchy throat or swelling of the mouth or throat. This condition is called pollen-food allergy syndrome or oral-allergy syndrome .
How to use tomatoes:
Tomatoes should always be washed before eating.
Tomatoes can be eaten raw or cooked.
There are simple and easy ways to add more tomatoes to your diet. Add a few slices to your sandwiches, add them to your salad, make a tomato soup, make guacamole, drink it in a vegetable juice, chop them up and add them to your egg omelet. Be creative.
Remember, not because something is reported as good for you means you should abuse it – so use in moderation. Always consult your doctor.
Being healthy is a lifestyle and it requires discipline and some research from time to time. I am working on improving my health one day at a time.
It is your health, your body and your life so take care of it. I believe in the saying, “prevention is better than the cure” and this is why I started Health and Wellness Fridays to bring to your attention foods that we sometimes overlook and take for granted.
Everything happens for a reason both the good and the bad. Some people come into your life to build you up while others try to break you down. Every encounter has a purpose ultimately it is up to you to use it to make you better, stronger and wiser.
How many of you can say that you’ve never been hurt emotionally, physically or psychologically by another human being? I’ve been hurt and I don’t feel bad acknowledging this because even Jesus had his share of hurt, pain and disappointments.
How many of you can say that when you were hurt that it did not negatively affect you? Whenever, I feel hurt sometimes it affects my mood, my appetite and even my interactions with others. The fact is, we all react to pain differently but we all react nonetheless.
PAIN is a part of life. There is no way we would be able to go through this life and have everything and everyone in our lives be perfect 24/7. It is unrealistic because life itself is unpredictable. We have to learn to handle our pain and emotions in a manner that does not leave us feeling defeated, helpless and broken.
The circumstance may have labelled you the “victim” but you can determine if you accept or reject that label. Take a note of the following, DON’T LET YOUR PAIN…
STEAL YOUR FUTURE.
HOLD YOU BACK IN LIFE.
KEEP YOU STUCK.
FEED YOU EXCUSES FOR STAYING WHERE YOU ARE.
BLIND YOU FROM YOUR TRUTH.
DENY YOU JOY AND HAPPINESS.
SHUT THE PEOPLE OUT WHO REALLY LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU.
SMOTHER YOU ANYMORE.
CONTROL YOUR LIFE.
Some facts I thought you should know:
YOU ARE NOT PERFECT AND THAT’S OKAY. NO ONE IS!
YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR CIRCUMSTANCE – SO DON’T JUST SIT BACK ANDACCEPT THAT’S HOW IT IS.
YOUR FUTURE IS ULTIMATELY UP TO YOU.
USE THE PAIN TO YOUR ADVANTAGE – LEARN FROM IT – GROW WISER AND STRONGER.
PAIN IS NOT OUR WEAKNESS. IT JUST MEANS WE ARE HUMAN.
DON’T GIVE UP.
Time for the healing to begin. Find your purpose. You were not put on this earth to be mediocre and unhappy. You have a purpose and you have to find it. Don’t let your pain stop your growth or keep you stuck in a rot.
Over the years with every situation I realized there was a lesson to be learnt. Not only about the people involved in it but about myself as well. Ask yourself what is the ‘lesson’ to be learnt from this experience? What good can you take from these lessons? Find it, so you can move forward.