Health and Wellness Fridays : Self-control

Hello and welcome back to Health and Wellness Fridays!  Hope you all are having a wonderful Friday. Tonight,  I want to talk about the challenges most of us have in exercising self-control especially as it relates to our eating habits.

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Let me first start off by saying that this is an area I personally struggle with.  I know all the right foods to eat and all the unhealthy foods to avoid and yet in spite of all of this knowledge and wisdom – it can be really tough to walk away sometimes.  I know for a fact that I’m not the only person with this issue but let’s keep the focus on me. I don’t want you guys feeling bad or guilty. So just hear me out. 🙂

Self-control means that not only do we have the POWER to control ourselves, our choices and our decisions but that we actually USE that power in our best interest.

I believe we all have self-control the challenge is applying it to the areas of our lives that we have relinquished control – for some it is their finances, others their relationships, and so many other areas but mine is junk food. 🙁

Do I have self-control? Yes! Is it effectively applied to every area of my life? No. Food is one of the most challenging areas for me. Sure, I have the good stuff like my fruits, veggies, nuts, multivitamins, and so on but I also have occasional fries, fried chicken, pizza,  and Chinese food from time to time.  I know what I have to do and yet there are times when I decide to just throw it out the door and just have what I want and not necessarily what I need.

Do I love myself enough to do better? Yes!  So what’s holding me back from committing fully to the process?  Let’s find out.

  1. Cravings – old habits where you can’t help but want what you want even after you’ve implemented new habits.
  2. Enablers – the people around me who love the same stuff I love so it’s easy to fall back into it.
  3. Self talk – where I convince myself I’m in control and I walk into an establishment leaving self-control at the door as the aroma of food fills the air.  He better not watch me crossed eyed when I’m walking back out with my fast food in tow he can pout all he wants.  🙂
  4. Emotional eating – if I am feeling stressed out  you could believe that I am going in search of my comfort food KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) or a good BBQ. It does help to be honest but I do feel guilty after so all I end up doing is transitioning from one emotion to another.
  5. Not eating on time.  This is a major factor in me making poor food choices as I let my sense of smell and sight along with my hunger pains determine what I eat and how much.
  6. The belief that because I make healthy food choices most times that  I can have occasional ‘feel good food’. Life is just too short for diet rigidity.

All of the above factors make self-control over eating habits more challenging.  How do we overcome them?

  1. Eating on time. I try to add little snacks like yogurt, fruit or even nuts to help me not feel so hungry as I’m often stuck behind a desk.
  2. Try to monitor my stress levels and try to distract myself with music to take my mind off of whatever is attempting to throw me off.
  3. Monitor the self talk. If I feel like convincing myself to go through the drive thru I would try to give myself reasons why I probably shouldn’t go – the line is just too long, the chicken might not even be fresh or the fries might be hot.  It works most times.
  4. As for the enablers, I just started saying NO especially if I already indulged once or twice for the week then anything after that is a no. I end up talking down their cravings as well. Of course, they’ll be a little disappointed and I’ll probably have to provide an alternative but at least we saved ourselves from overindulging.
  5. Cravings – I try not to stifle my urges entirely because food makes me happy. I have made an effort to regulate how often I would indulge for the week and month and try to stay within or under that goal making sure not to exceed it. Example, I might have KFC 2 -3 times for the month rather than 2-3 times for the week.
  6. Being honest with myself about what my weaknesses are and trying to put things in place to improve them for the betterment of ME.

Self-control is inside of each of us we just have to tap into it meaningfully. We all stumble from time to time and that’s okay. We need to support and encourage each other especially in areas of weakness – so let’s pick ourselves up and keep pushing forward. When we give up on ourselves self-control walks out the door.

Our health and wellness is just as important as those other areas of our lives that we apply self-control to if not more so.  It is there to protect us but it can’t work if we don’t use it.

Have a wonderful night and an amazing weekend.  Thank you for stopping by.

Different Interpretations of Truth

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Is there such a thing as ‘different interpretations of the truth’?

Truth is the ability to be honest with ourselves and others even when and if we are wrong. 

There are instances when the ‘truth’ can become blurry.  This can occur when two or more persons recall fragments of an event or events based on what and how they remember them especially if they were emotionally charged at that time.

Whenever this happens we often end up with (3) three versions of ‘truth’ emerging:

  • Your version (which is the ‘truth’ as you perceived it)
  • His or Her version (which is the ‘truth’ as the other person perceived it)
  • Reality (what actually happened – which sometimes does not have an audience to validate or confirm what in reality occurred)

Some may argue, that the ‘truth’ is the truth and there is no differentiation.  However, if that were so how can two or more people be present at the same event and some report events differently than others as to what actually occurred.  One explanation could be that some may be purposely lying or withholding details.

Likewise, another explanation could be when situations get heated our emotions can go on overdrive causing us to see and hear only bits and pieces of information because mentally we are so charged up playing back whatever upset us that everything else going on around us sounds like noise and distortion.  We are angry and hurt and unfortunately when we get like this very little matters after that.

So yes, there are different versions of truth because for each of us in that moment how we feel about our situations are real to each of us.   When it comes to feelings and emotions it is not always so easy to control.  What we can do however, is try not to do and say things out of anger for once this happens the words can’t be undone.

Remember, the truth is our ability to be honest with ourselves and others even when and if we wrong.   When dealing with difficult situations it is therefore important that we keep our minds open and be slow to speak.   Once we get too emotionally charged things can get blurry and we don’t want that.

If you happen to be a bystander in an event, it is important that you try to stay unbiased because the persons involved would need objectivity and a clear mind to help them resolve their issue(s).

Thanks for stopping by. Have a great day. 🙂

The Games We Play

The games we play

When we don’t know what to say

Other than the truth because

We often let our fears get in the way

 

The games we play

When we know how we feel

But let the complexities of life

Build and foster within us unnecessary strife

 

The games we play

As we pretend to others and within ourselves

That what is going on around us has no affect

When the truth is, it is making our hearts bleed

 

The games we play

When we let our selfishness get in the way

We don’t take the emotions of others into play

Causing fractures in our relationships

That sometimes lead to the sinking of the ship

 

Should you decide to play games

With the emotions of others

Don’t say I didn’t warn you

So be true to yourself and don’t do to others

What you don’t want done unto you.

 

Thanks for stopping by. Make today a great one!

The struggle within

 

Daily Prompt: Detonate

It is building up more and more each day

Those unspoken words you refuse to say

Hoping silence would make those feelings go away

…………………………………………………………………

The pain is more than you can bear

But you sit there refusing to share

Your heart is so dear

You’re afraid it would tear

…………………………………………………………….

Don’t be controlled by your fear

There are still people out there who care

Denial will only help your spiral

As the pressure builds, it will slowly spill

Into your life causing strife

Even forcing you to question your life

…………………………………………………………..

Whatever is consuming you inside

You can no longer run from or hide

Because like a grenade you will detonate

Leaving your surroundings desolate

……………………………………………………………….

You can prevent this

This explosion or possible implosion

By healing the corrosion

The corrosion of the mind, body and spirit

You know the one you’re struggling with

It’s time to stand up and face it

Because running you will never shake it.

 

Thank you for stopping by.

 

Impact of our childhoods on our adult relationships

Until a few years ago I didn’t really understand and appreciate just how significant my childhood was in shaping who I am today.  My childhood was filled with different elements that made it good as well as some other elements that were not so good.  Overall, I would say compared to many people I had a good life.  There are people out there who have lived through childhood experiences that no child should ever have to endure.  Those who survived, what price does their adulthood now pay as a result of those experiences.

Do you realise just how much of an impact our childhood has on our relationships?

Relationships can be tricky.  You see, we are dealing with people’s feelings, emotions, expectations and even their past experiences knowingly and unknowingly.  Even the best relationships have problems and issues to deal with.  What makes them successful is not only how they treat with their problems but also their willingness and desire to remain with each other.

Some times  when a relationship fails we beat ourselves up over them while others are able to dust it off and move on almost as if it never happened.  Why is that?

I believe that some of our childhood experiences affect us as adults more than we think or would like to admit.  Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.  How so?

  1. Someone who grew up seeing their parents deal with problems by running away or avoiding the issues would more than likely do the same thing when faced with problems until they learn to respond differently.
  2. Someone who grew up seeing a lot of violence in the home might create a similar environment in their household or might stay in an abusive situation because it feels ‘familiar’ or ‘normal‘.
  3. Someone who saw infidelity or saw how it broke up their home as a child might have difficulty trusting people.
  4. Someone who experienced abandonment growing up might have difficulty trusting others and would probably always strive to be self-reliant.

The above scenarios are just a small fraction of some possibilities that some of us would have endured as children growing up.  Let me say upfront, not because someone had a tough childhood means they would automatically repeat the same pattern.  What I would say however, is that the negative experiences do affect us in some way.   To what extent I can’t say because that would vary from individual to individual.

So ask yourself the questions and be honest with yourself.

  1. How much of your childhood affects how you parent?
  2. How much of your childhood affects how you love others and yourself?
  3. How much of your childhood affects how you receive love?
  4. How much of your childhood affects how much you trust other people?
  5. How much of your childhood affects your ability to let others get close you?
  6. How much of your childhood affects why you like what you like or don’t like certain things or certain people?
  7. How much of your childhood affects your ability to forgive?

The fact is, only you can honestly answer those questions.  I’ve learnt that no matter how long ago the pain or hurt occurred in our childhood once it was never addressed or given closure it affects us and our relationships.

We can pretend it does not bother us or act like it never happened but in our subconscious and conscious mind it is there. The memories may be in the corner covered up but they’re still there.  Ignoring them won’t make them go away.  When you think you’re over it, life has a way of bringing it to the surface and because we have never dealt with it, there is often chaos and drama.

Many times when we enter relationships we only enter with the knowledge of what we’ve seen or been told by that special someone.  The average person does not lay out all their hurt for the world to see.   We bury it in an effort to forget so that we can function and have some measure of normalcy in our lives.  We call it self-preservation and our brain does that to help us initially but we can only hide for so long.

When relationships fail, it’s not always because of what is seen on the surface but sometimes the issue is much deeper.  No, it’s not our job to fix the person we’re with!  We have your own issues to address before we can help anyone else.  They must be willing and ready to face their own truths and address them one at a time.  That is the hard truth.

Some people over the years have been able to work through their childhood experiences to live better, happier lives. Facing some of those memories can be tough but it is possible to find peace within ourselves so we can truly move forward.

There is no doubt in my mind that our childhood can and does impact our adult lives.  How we let it impact our relationships is up to us.  When relationships fail it can be a tough pill to swallow.  After all, we’ve invested our time, our hearts and resources into the experience.   Cherish the good memories from your childhood and get help in working through the challenging ones so they don’t keep you stuck.

May you find the strength and courage to address the pain and hurt that you are dealing with.  Those of us that have children owe it to them to get resolution of our own issues so we don’t repeat the cycle of  pain.  We can’t help them until we help ourselves.

Thanks for reading.

 

Uncertain

You say you “love” me

Sometimes I wonder if this true

Because your words should have deeper meaning

For me and for you

………………………………………………………………….

You say you “miss” me

But I can’t help but wonder

Is it really me you miss?

Or just my sweet kiss

Maybe it’s the way I move my hips

Being with me brings you such sweet bliss

…………………………………………………………………..

You might say, I’m over reacting

Reading too much into everything

But I can’t help shake the feeling

That there is something you’re concealing

Is it just paranoia, I’m feeling?

…………………………………………………………………..

When I say, “I love you”

I feel it in my heart

When I say, “I miss you”

You feel it like a spark

When you say I’m, “over reacting”

I have to protect my heart.

 

By: Cherylene Nicholas

 

Thanks for stopping by.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reflections

Image Credit: Pexels.com

When you look into the mirror

Beyond your smile and the blank stare in your eyes

Are you someone who is happy?

Or someone who is pretending to be?

Your face sometimes depicting an image

That is so far from your reality

………………………………………………………..

As the tug of war on your emotions, play out mentally

Often conflicting, with who you are meant to be

Denial you accept, almost peacefully

Now don’t get cross with me

For merely questioning a possibility

………………………………………………………………………………..

I am in no way suggesting

That you walk around manifesting,

Everything you’re feeling

I’m was just simply asking

How you treat with what you’re truly thinking and feeling?

Because pretending and masquerading

Will only hinder your healing

…………………………………………………………………………………….

Your happiness is important!

Don’t label it insignificant,

Make it your business!

To chip away at any bitterness,

One day at a time,

So your happiness can truly shine.

 

 

By: Cherylene Nicholas

 

Thanks for stopping by.  🙂