Rise and Fall

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Rising and falling is an art-form that is only perfected through experience. For when we succeed, we should do so gracefully and likewise when we fail it is that same grace we should adopt to come back better, wiser and stronger than before.

Make today a great one.  Thank you for stopping by. 🙂

Be Careful What You Ask For!

Be careful what you ask for, you just might get.

Life has a funny way of giving us what we want just not always in the way we want it.

  • Sometimes we experience love through loss.  In other moments through loss we find love.
  • Sometimes only through overcoming our failure can acquire success.  Other times when we acquire success this can result in our failure.

Over the years I’ve learnt that life is something that we cannot control. However, we do have the power to determine how life events affect and impact our lives.

We can choose to learn from them gaining wisdom, knowledge and strength to move forward or we can allow ourselves to be swallowed up by the experience becoming lost but not forgotten.

Life can be complicated at times but there are times when it can be really simple. Let us choose us to make the most and best use of it.

Thanks for stopping by. Make today a great one!

 

Failure is a choice!

Of all the words that we could use to describe ourselves why would we choose “failure”.

Failure is a word that is given meaning as a result of something that has happened or perhaps did not happen the way it was intended.   It is sometimes used to describe an event, a thing and even people.

Are you a failure?  You are what YOU believe and how you behave!

You are only a “failure” when and if YOU accept that title.  For a failure is someone who has accepted defeat.  They refuse to fight for what they want.  They lack perseverance and a burning desire to overcome their obstacles. 

Failure as it relates to people,  is a type of attitude and a behaviour.  It is a choice.

So why not, choose differently?  Let’s choose to persevere!  No matter how tough things get, no matter what negative talk they throw at us, even when we’re standing alone.  It is the will to persevere that would bring us through anything.

There is no shame in failing at something especially if you have given it your best. 

Failure is just a word never let it define YOU.  You define who you are by your actions and behaviour.

Failure should NEVER be allowed to stop us from trying for that is when we truly fail.

Dangers of unrealistic expectations

Expectations we all have them.  I would even go so far to say, that it is apart of the human condition, in that it comes naturally to us.  We create expectations of ourselves and others.  Sometimes our expectations are realistic and other times they are just unrealistic.    Realistic expectations are great because they are achievable and most times even reasonable.

Unrealistic expectations on the other hand, are the total opposite. They are often unattainable and unreasonable.  They can have negative effects on relationships and the individual.   I have lived through and survived both. Today I want to highlight some of the things I learnt along the way and how I overcame them.

Some negatives that could arise due to unrealistic expectations within the relationship are:

  1. Create unnecessary conflict
  2. Foster resentment
  3. Increase stress levels
  4. Breakdown in communication
  5. Avoidance of each other when possible
  6. Baffled ( as you try to find logic in what is being asked of you)

Some negatives that could arise from self-inflicted unrealistic expectations are:

  1. Bring on depression
  2. Increase stress levels
  3. Increase the risk of failure – (if the goal or target set is not realistic you will fail)
  4. Beating up yourself emotionally – (negative self-talk)
  5. Foster resentment towards yourself – (for not meeting the expectation)
  6. Cause loss of appetite for some people – (side effect from the stress)
  7. Trigger over eating in others – (side effect from the stress)
  8. Negatively impact your health sometimes mentally and or physically.
  9. Hinder your happiness

Some examples of unrealistic expectations include but are not limited to the following:

  1. Relying on your loved ones to make and keep you happy.
  2. Expecting to never fail at anything.
  3. Expecting to be great at everything.
  4. Expecting everybody you meet to like you.
  5. Expecting the people you love to never make a mistake.
  6. You can ‘fix’ everyone. 
  7. You can do everything yourself.
  8. You don’t need anyone.
  9. You are in control of everything.
  10. Our kids want we want for them.

How I overcame my unrealistic expectations:

  1. Stop expecting others to be perfect.
  2. Admit and accept that I was not perfect.
  3. Be realistic and honest with myself. Don’t expect of others things  I do not expect of  myself.
  4. Put myself in the other person’s shoe. Not because I am good at something means everyone else is too.
  5. How we communicate what we want, is just as important as what we communicate, if not more.
  6. Apologize (where I was guilty) and genuinely try do better.
  7. Make a list of anything I deemed was unreasonable and I would try to communicate same to whomever was guilty of it and try to come up with a better way forward.

It took time and practice but I have gotten better at managing my expectations of others and myself.  I’ve seen the benefits both in my relationships and myself.  Always aim to be realistic and reasonable in your expectations.

Thank you for stopping by.  🙂

A Relationship Maze

Daily Prompt: Maze

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A relationship maze

Can have you in a daze

As you keep going round and round

You can sometimes end up feeling like a clown

………………………………………………….

Drowning in your emotions

Leaves you constantly in motion

Yet never taking you anywhere

Is this really making sense dear?

……………………………………………………….

Maybe you are just too different

Wishful thinking

That this could be permanent

I’ve heard them say, “opposites attract”

Maybe in your case that was a fact

……………………………………………………..

But now the things that made you different

Have caused you to become very complacent

So where do you go from here?

Other than to the resolution you’ve always fear

……………………………………………………………

Black is black and white is white

Forward you go with all your might

Knowing that you’ve put up a good fight.

 

By: Cherylene Nicholas

 

Hi guys, this is not me giving relationship advice.  All I can tell you is what worked for me based on my situation.  Sometimes in relationships, we can become so engrossed in them that we often overlook and play down things that hurt us and negatively affect the relationship and more importantly ourselves.

Once you’ve genuinely given and done all you can sometimes there comes a time in the relationship where you just have to let go for your own sanity and well-being.  Change can be scary but sometimes based on the situation it is necessary.

Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

 

 

Disappointments are blessings in disguise

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I believe that every disappointment has a hidden blessing behind it even though we may not see it at the time.

What do I mean byblessing“? I believe that a blessing can refer to a person or an act that can improve or add value, happiness and joy to someone’s life.   It can be anything from getting a new house; getting a promotion; conceiving or receiving a child; spiritual healing, physical healing; meeting the love of your life;  achieving financial deliverance and so much more based on the needs and value placed on it by the person receiving it.

God knows our heart’s desires. He also knows what is best for us and more importantly when to bless us with the things that we need and want.  I’ve come to learn over the years that my timing and God’s timing are different. I want all of my blessings and I want them now – used to be my attitude and thinking. Patience was a virtue I definitely lacked.

God has a bigger plan for our lives. We all have a special and unique purpose and contribution to make in this world even though we can’t see it now.

However, in order for us to receive the blessings God has for us –  I believe that we have to first undergo some test and learn some lessons along the way, all designed to develop and strengthen us.  Some of the test and lessons are more difficult than others and can come in the form of hardship, disappointments and even tragedy.

In my test, I would admit I was sometimes confused, angry and even disappointed when things didn’t go my way or when relationships failed.

Here are (10) ten lessons that I learnt:

  1. When God puts it in your heart to do something – do it!  Don’t delay and keep putting it off.  You don’t want him to up the antics to get your attention.
  2. Some test and lessons require us to walk away from certain people and things in our lives for us to achieve the things we are destined for.  When God says it’s time to wrap it up you better wrap it up.
  3. Every disappointment, every failure and every heart-break was designed to make us stronger, wiser and more resilient.
  4. Disappointment hurts and it can even leave us feeling a little crushed. It is not however, meant to destroy our hope or wreck our lives.  It is how we respond to these events that can bring us the break-through that we’ve hoped for.
  5. Crying can help bring emotional release but it does not help with the mental turmoil.  Those feelings of unworthiness, self-doubt, self-pity, anger, resentment and frustration can eat you alive. I had to find ways to overcome those feelings in order for me to move forward with my life and that in itself was a test and a lesson.
  6. God knows the things we struggle with even before we do.    He will even create situations to help us overcome them but we have to trust him and persevere.  We must do our part or there will be no growth and I believe we remain stuck in our test until we learn the lesson.
  7. God is a merciful God and he will never give us more than we can bear.   Our test are different and some might even say unfair at times as we compare our lives to others but let’s not compare but instead choose to persevere so our blessings can flow as we continue to grow in mind, body and spirit.
  8. It takes a lot of self talk, prayer, faith, trust and perseverance to go through life in your present existence knowing that although everything is not perfect right now things will get better.
  9. Use disappointment as a stepping stone to propel you into the next level of your journey.
  10. We all have our own test to complete and our own lessons to learn.

What lesson is God trying to teach you in your life now?     What or who is holding you back from becoming who you are meant to be?

I believe we all have the potential to not only overcome the disappointments that we are faced with but also get the hidden blessings that can come out of them – if we choose to view them differently and persevere.

If you are going through a tough period in your life now, know that you are not alone.   Life can be a struggle but not everything in it has to be.  Trust that this too shall pass, look for the lesson, learn from it and God will deliver your blessing. 

Image Credit: Pixabay.com

Thanks for stopping. 🙂

 

 

 

Stretch Yourself

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Thank you Lord for another day.  Thank you for another opportunity to do better and be better. Thank you for all YOU have done, are doing and will do in our lives. Give us the strength and courage to stretch ourselves so that we can become the individuals we were meant to be. Amen!

That was my prayer for us. Many times we go through life and some of us tend to limit ourselves and our experiences because we are afraid.  I know what that is like because it used to keep me stuck.   Afraid of failure, afraid of the unknown, afraid of what others might say and afraid of change.

How many experiences, opportunities, potential relationships and friendships did you allow yourself to miss out on because you were afraid? Being afraid or ‘fearful’ is not all bad because this is our brain’s way of protecting us from anything or anyone it feels threatened by.

However, although the brain means well this emotion ‘fear’ can also paralyze us in moments when we need to act.  It can limit us and cause us to miss out on potentially good and positive experiences because we’ve become stuck in this emotional state where we start seeing everyone and everything as a potential threat.

This type of existence hinders our learning because we would typically avoid trying new things. Learning is a part of ‘living’ and if you choose to avoid new experiences, new opportunities and new things then you deny yourself the opportunity to widen your knowledge and your experiences therefore limiting your learning.

Today I want to encourage you to put your fear aside and stretch yourself.  Let’s look at some of the best case/ worse case scenarios of stretching yourself:

  1. Try something new it could be a new food, new sport, new activity (dancing, cooking class or a defense class) anything you build up the courage to try – either you’ll like it or you won’t and that’s okay.  Don’t be discouraged just try something else.  This is an opportunity for you to grow and learn more about yourself.  You’ll learn some likes and dislikes you didn’t know about – so go into it with an open mind.
  2. Open up to the possibility of sharing your life with others. Maybe you’ll meet someone who will become your best friend, lover, or future spouse only time will tell. Maybe you’ll just be friends or maybe you’ll learn that not everyone that smiles with you is your friend. Either way there is an opportunity to learn something about others as well as yourself.
  3. Change is good and is sometimes necessary for betterment to take place.  It is good to change-up our routine sometimes and create new ones. This could be as simple as taking a different route to work or home; . It could even be eating whole wheat bread instead of white bread, adding a fruit and vegetables to our daily meal plan.  This will help to foster greater flexibility and adaptability in your life.  Change can be good for you so rather than run from it sometimes based on the potential benefits and lessons to be learnt we should embrace it.
  4. The unknown or future is just that because no one knows what the future holds.    Hiding or shutting ourselves away from others and not participating in life does not help prepare us for the future if nothing else it can put us at a disadvantage. We should choose to live, love, learn and grow each and everyday and trust that our plans will workout in our favour when that time comes.

Stretch yourself, stretch your understanding, stretch your experiences, stretch your opportunities, stretch your relationships, stretch your body, mind and spirit. With each day that goes by understand that the only thing keeping you back is YOU. 

Don’t let fear limit your possibilities for growth, wisdom and understanding.

Just take it one day at a time. 🙂