12 Reasons Unhappiness can Linger

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We get up every morning and go through life doing what is expected and required of us most times. 🙂  We go to work, go home, take care of our families, and go to school, do chores and any other thing that we have given ourselves as a task to complete.

Does completion or pursuing these tasks make us happy? 

If we were to remove everything off of our ‘To Do List’ and we had nothing but time – with and for ourselves would we be genuinely happy right now where we are in life at this very moment?

Many of us would probably quietly utter, No.  Not because we don’t love our families or appreciate our jobs but probably because we have unresolved things deep inside of us that we’ve never truly dealt with.

Over the years and many sermons later, I’ve come to learn that unresolved issues create limits to our happiness.  What limits have you set on your happiness? I’ve listed some limits that I allowed in my past to keep me unhappy until I learnt the truth.

Let’s take a look.

  1. We become dependent on other people to make us happy.
  2. We have taken on more than we could handle leaving us with feelings of anger, regret, stress and sometimes even depression.
  3. We’re too focused on our disappointments and failures.
  4. We don’t believe that we can be happy because we believe the stories and the lies that we have heard and lived all these years.
  5. We’ve developed and encouraged a spirit of fear or laziness that has kept us from  evening try.
  6. We’re so caught up in pointing fingers and laying blame that we don’t make time to create our own joy and happiness.
  7. We don’t recognize, understand or appreciate that our ability to be happy  and more importantly sustain happiness resides inside of us.  We keep missing it because we’re focusing on obtaining happiness from entities outside of us.
  8. We allow ourselves to remain mental and emotional prisoners of our past.
  9. We give our mouths and our minds freedom to speak and think negative things that only hold us back and keep us stuck in a pit of unhappiness.
  10. We have accepted unhappiness as our way of life.
  11. We really don’t know how to get out of this bed of unhappiness.
  12. We are merely existing in our lives and not actively living in them.

How did I overcome these?

It was not easy. Happiness is a choice and I had to make that decision daily not to allow anything or anyone from my past, present or future to control or dictate how much joy or happiness I am able to enjoy.

However, before I could get to that point, I had to forgive those people from my past through my words (through prayer and some face to face interaction.  I had to alter and correct my thinking. I had to pray and ask God to cleanse my heart and my spirit before the changes I needed could be activated.  Crucial to this however, was making the conscious decision once and for all to let go those painful experiences in order for me to free myself from the prison I had kept myself in all those years. 

It is an amazing feeling when you choose allow yourself to let go of all the stuff that has had you limited, constricted, angry,  guarded and restricted for so long. 🙂

Now that I’ve listed my top 12 reasons why unhappiness can linger, now what?

Well for starters, we’re going to wake up each morning and put a smile on our faces and in our hearts. Secondly, we’re going to actively seek God through prayer and reading His word, giving thanks for His mercy and favour in our lives.

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We’re going to ask Him to heal what is broken within us.  We going to ask for His strength to move pass the obstacles that we have allowed to keep us prisoners in our own lives.

We’re going to ask Him for the strength to forgive because forgiveness is never easy in the beginning.  We have many reasons why forgiving those people who hurt us would be hard but we have to forgive them to free ourselves from that hurt and pain before we can move forward and experience true happiness.

We’re going to declare victory over every area in our lives we’re struggling with. There’s no limit to what God can do be it: unresolved childhood wounds, financial breakthroughs, challenges in our relationships, issues with our kids, problems at work, issues at school, maybe you’re looking for work,  you have health concerns or just want to improve your relationship with God. Bring them before God!

We have the ability to improve our mental state and happiness but we must be willing to heal the fragile sections of our hearts and in so doing repair the scars that some of our life experiences have gifted us with.

It is a process. There’s no denying that and it requires practice and a shift in our thinking and behaviour. Once done from the heart with God as our guide and comforter – we won’t be the same people we use to be.  

We would have gained peace of mind, clarity, focus, joy, happiness and a sense of freedom that we’ve never had before.  Once freed from those self-imposed prisons we would be able to live and experience life to the fullest.

The only thing I had to be fearful of was remaining the same.  One step, one day, one moment at a time choose happiness – you can’t overcome your battles alone. Whatever our hearts desire all we have to do is ask and trust God to help us overcome them.

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Talk to God, He wants to help. The truth is, He is the only person who can help us obtain and sustain true happiness.

Thank you for making this blog one of your stops in this journey called life.

 

Don’t let your PAIN hinder your GROWTH

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Everything happens for a reason both the good and the bad. Some people come into your life to build you up while others try to break you down.  Every encounter has a purpose ultimately it is up to you to use it to make you better, stronger and wiser.

How many of you can say that you’ve never been hurt emotionally, physically or psychologically by another human being?  I’ve been hurt and I don’t feel bad acknowledging this because even Jesus had his share of hurt, pain and disappointments.

How many of you can say that when you were hurt that it did not negatively affect you?   Whenever, I feel hurt sometimes it affects my mood, my appetite and even my interactions with others. The fact is, we all react to pain differently but we all react nonetheless. 

PAIN is a part of life.  There is no way we would be able to go through this life and have everything and everyone in our lives be perfect 24/7.  It is unrealistic because life itself is unpredictable.  We have to learn to handle our pain and emotions in a manner that does not leave us feeling defeated, helpless and broken.

The circumstance may have labelled you the “victim” but you can determine if you accept or reject that label. Take a note of the following, DON’T LET YOUR PAIN… 

  1. STEAL YOUR FUTURE.
  2. HOLD YOU BACK IN LIFE.
  3. PARALYZE YOU.
  4. KEEP YOU STUCK.
  5. FEED YOU EXCUSES FOR STAYING WHERE YOU ARE.
  6. BLIND YOU FROM YOUR TRUTH.
  7. DENY YOU JOY AND HAPPINESS.
  8. SHUT THE PEOPLE OUT WHO REALLY LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU.
  9. SMOTHER YOU ANYMORE.
  10. CONTROL YOUR LIFE.

Some facts I thought you should know:

  1. YOU ARE NOT PERFECT AND THAT’S OKAY. NO ONE IS!
  2. YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR CIRCUMSTANCE – SO DON’T JUST SIT BACK AND ACCEPT THAT’S HOW IT IS.
  3. YOUR FUTURE IS ULTIMATELY UP TO YOU. 
  4. USE THE PAIN TO YOUR ADVANTAGE – LEARN FROM IT – GROW WISER AND STRONGER. 
  5. PAIN IS NOT OUR WEAKNESS. IT JUST MEANS WE ARE HUMAN.
  6. DON’T GIVE UP.

Time for the healing to begin. Find your purpose.  You were not put on this earth to be mediocre and unhappy.  You have a purpose and you have to find it.  Don’t let your pain stop your growth or keep you stuck in a rot.

Over the years with every situation I realized there was a lesson to be learnt. Not only about the people involved in it but about myself as well.  Ask yourself what is the ‘lesson’ to be learnt from this experience?  What good can you take from these lessons? Find it, so you can move forward.

You’ve made it this far!