Hide and Seek

 

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This is a story about a forbidden relationship between two people called Denial and Truth who only played Hide and Seek.

Denial’s parents told him that he and Truth could NEVER be together because she would only hurt him so he should always avoid her.  Denial did not listen to his parents and would in his own little way interact with Truth through playing Hide and Seek.

Truth liked Denial very much but could never get close to him.  Hide and Seek was all she had and this made her little heart sad.  No matter how hard she tried Denial always managed to slip away.

Until one day, Truth finally caught up with Denial.  For the first time he was cornered and trapped.   His emotions started swelling up on the inside now his true feelings he could no longer hide.   Truth looked Denial in his eyes and said, ” You can avoid me all you want. You could even try to wish me away but I have news for you, I’m here to stay.  You constantly push me aside because your emotions you want to hide.  Can’t you see my love, you’re creating even more turmoil inside?”

Denial unable to control his emotions anymore starts weeping uncontrollably on the floor.  Truth sits down beside him attempting to console him.  She understands his heart is thin but this is a battle even he can’t win.  She then whispers in his ear, “I understand this hurts but avoiding me will only make the pain worse. Let’s face these things together because that is the only way you’ll feel better.”

Over time these two stopped playing Hide and Seek and decided to meet up once a week.

Denial finally understood that although he could avoid Truth he could not remove her from his life. He soon realised that facing her actually made him feel better.  He eventually built up enough courage to take her home to meet his parents. 🙂

You can just imagine his parents surprise to see their son Denial and Truth standing side by side.  It took them some getting used to but over time they learnt to accept and eventually love her too.

Remember, we may not always like the truth about something,  someone or ourselves but avoiding it does not make it go away.  I’ve learnt the only way to truly move forward is to face and accept the truth and chart a way forward.

Denial is only a short-term answer or response to our problems.  The time will come when we have to face what we’ve been hiding or running from.  It won’t be easy but the end result should you choose to embrace and see the process through is  greater clarity, your emotional burden will be lifted or lighter and the healing can finally begin – resulting in a much happier you.

Thank you for stopping by. Have a great day! 🙂

Heart to Heart

This post was inspired by a piece I read called “I’m scared” written by Elsie over at Elsie LMC blog.  She rekindle in me some feelings I get whenever I think of a loved one leaving me before I could share with them all I have to say.

Family is sometimes all we have and those of us who are still fortunate to have people we love in our lives should never take them for granted.  This is to my family.

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So many times I stop and think

We could be no more with just one blink

No more laughter, no more talks

No more browsing on our little walks

So as I prepare this heart to heart

Let’s remove all bitterness from our path 

Agreeing to put petty differences aside

Especially those entangled with our pride

Our love for each other we should never hide

So many times I stop and think

How much time was wasted between you and me?

Silence left to pass the time

Because of foolish pettiness

We’ve now reduced our time

So many times I stop and think

If you were to leave me now

My heart would surely sink

For without you in this world

I would feel so empty and cold

As the tears and grief would fill my soul

So I’ve made my decision and with careful precision

I will take the first step because I don’t want to leave this world with regret

Besides I never want you to forget,

I love now and forever

To my mother, father, sister, brother, sons and niece

Knowing each of you in this life

Has truly brought me so much peace

I know we’ve had our moments

But life is short so no more postponements

Live your life and cherish it

Remembering to show your love

While learning to receive it

So let’s put any differences aside

Removing all bitterness and pride

Loving and praying for each other everyday

Because when that day comes there’s only so much we can say

I love you all

Have a blessed day.

 

 

Be Careful What You Ask For!

Be careful what you ask for, you just might get.

Life has a funny way of giving us what we want just not always in the way we want it.

  • Sometimes we experience love through loss.  In other moments through loss we find love.
  • Sometimes only through overcoming our failure can acquire success.  Other times when we acquire success this can result in our failure.

Over the years I’ve learnt that life is something that we cannot control. However, we do have the power to determine how life events affect and impact our lives.

We can choose to learn from them gaining wisdom, knowledge and strength to move forward or we can allow ourselves to be swallowed up by the experience becoming lost but not forgotten.

Life can be complicated at times but there are times when it can be really simple. Let us choose us to make the most and best use of it.

Thanks for stopping by. Make today a great one!

 

Dangers Of Playing It Too Safe

Playing it safe from time to time could save us a lot of hurt in certain situations.  I used to ‘play it safe’ and still do in some aspects of my life.  However, there is a difference between playing it safe and playing it too safe.

In fact, playing it too safe is probably one sure way of increasing the odds that very little happens to you.  You’re probably wondering, how is this a bad thing and what makes it so dangerous?

Some dangers ofplaying it too safeinclude:

  1. We limit our experiences and by extension our learning.  If you are unwilling to try new things or do things differently from time to time how would you learn and grow your knowledge.  Reading knowledge from a book is great because you get a point of reference but actually attempting something or trying something new gives you that experience that you will carry with you for a lifetime – no book could give you that!
  2. We can cause others to naturally exclude us from events.  If you are invited to events from time to time and your answer is always NO eventually people would stop asking.  Of course, I’m referring to people you are familiar with and feel safe being around.  I’m in no way suggesting you put yourself in any situation that can be potentially harmful to your well-being.
  3. We let our fear of uncertainty prevent us from truly enjoying life.  Life is full of uncertainties that is a given however, if we allow ourselves to stay out or away from everything, are we enjoying our lives?  Take small steps, do little things and enjoy the air and breath that you wake up each day to enjoy.
  4. We pass on this way of thinking and living to our children making them fearful of the world.  As parents, our job is to protect our children but we should do so objectively.  Yes, we have to warn them of the potential dangers out there but we should also show them that the world still has in it good things as well that can and should be enjoyed.
  5. We limit the knowledge we have about ourselves such as likes, dislikes, true strengths and weaknesses because we don’t want to try anything new.  When we avoid anything that is new or different how do we really know if we like it or dislike it without even trying.  I’ve never done drugs but what I know of it and seen I know without a doubt that is not something I want to be messing with.  There are just some experiences we don’t need to mess with. Pick your battles, stay safe and stay smart!  
  6. We can end up isolating ourselves.  Sometimes being too safe could cause us to share little of ourselves with others.  It’s okay to say hi or just flash a smile from time to time. Sometimes when a stranger says “Good morning or Hello” it is just that, they are simply being nice and courteous.
  7. We have difficulty accepting change.  We want things how we want it, the way we’ve known it and don’t want to try anything else.  It is good to change up your routine from time to time.  Take a different route home, try a different brand it is good to have options.

All in all, life is just too short to be stuck doing things one way all the time.  We are here to enjoy life, to learn, to love and share with each other while having some fun along the way.  Create memories that put a smile on your face and brings joy to your heart.  Be brave but not reckless. Share the moments with the people you love.

Stay blessed.  Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

Have a great day!

 

Impact of our childhoods on our adult relationships

Until a few years ago I didn’t really understand and appreciate just how significant my childhood was in shaping who I am today.  My childhood was filled with different elements that made it good as well as some other elements that were not so good.  Overall, I would say compared to many people I had a good life.  There are people out there who have lived through childhood experiences that no child should ever have to endure.  Those who survived, what price does their adulthood now pay as a result of those experiences.

Do you realise just how much of an impact our childhood has on our relationships?

Relationships can be tricky.  You see, we are dealing with people’s feelings, emotions, expectations and even their past experiences knowingly and unknowingly.  Even the best relationships have problems and issues to deal with.  What makes them successful is not only how they treat with their problems but also their willingness and desire to remain with each other.

Some times  when a relationship fails we beat ourselves up over them while others are able to dust it off and move on almost as if it never happened.  Why is that?

I believe that some of our childhood experiences affect us as adults more than we think or would like to admit.  Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.  How so?

  1. Someone who grew up seeing their parents deal with problems by running away or avoiding the issues would more than likely do the same thing when faced with problems until they learn to respond differently.
  2. Someone who grew up seeing a lot of violence in the home might create a similar environment in their household or might stay in an abusive situation because it feels ‘familiar’ or ‘normal‘.
  3. Someone who saw infidelity or saw how it broke up their home as a child might have difficulty trusting people.
  4. Someone who experienced abandonment growing up might have difficulty trusting others and would probably always strive to be self-reliant.

The above scenarios are just a small fraction of some possibilities that some of us would have endured as children growing up.  Let me say upfront, not because someone had a tough childhood means they would automatically repeat the same pattern.  What I would say however, is that the negative experiences do affect us in some way.   To what extent I can’t say because that would vary from individual to individual.

So ask yourself the questions and be honest with yourself.

  1. How much of your childhood affects how you parent?
  2. How much of your childhood affects how you love others and yourself?
  3. How much of your childhood affects how you receive love?
  4. How much of your childhood affects how much you trust other people?
  5. How much of your childhood affects your ability to let others get close you?
  6. How much of your childhood affects why you like what you like or don’t like certain things or certain people?
  7. How much of your childhood affects your ability to forgive?

The fact is, only you can honestly answer those questions.  I’ve learnt that no matter how long ago the pain or hurt occurred in our childhood once it was never addressed or given closure it affects us and our relationships.

We can pretend it does not bother us or act like it never happened but in our subconscious and conscious mind it is there. The memories may be in the corner covered up but they’re still there.  Ignoring them won’t make them go away.  When you think you’re over it, life has a way of bringing it to the surface and because we have never dealt with it, there is often chaos and drama.

Many times when we enter relationships we only enter with the knowledge of what we’ve seen or been told by that special someone.  The average person does not lay out all their hurt for the world to see.   We bury it in an effort to forget so that we can function and have some measure of normalcy in our lives.  We call it self-preservation and our brain does that to help us initially but we can only hide for so long.

When relationships fail, it’s not always because of what is seen on the surface but sometimes the issue is much deeper.  No, it’s not our job to fix the person we’re with!  We have your own issues to address before we can help anyone else.  They must be willing and ready to face their own truths and address them one at a time.  That is the hard truth.

Some people over the years have been able to work through their childhood experiences to live better, happier lives. Facing some of those memories can be tough but it is possible to find peace within ourselves so we can truly move forward.

There is no doubt in my mind that our childhood can and does impact our adult lives.  How we let it impact our relationships is up to us.  When relationships fail it can be a tough pill to swallow.  After all, we’ve invested our time, our hearts and resources into the experience.   Cherish the good memories from your childhood and get help in working through the challenging ones so they don’t keep you stuck.

May you find the strength and courage to address the pain and hurt that you are dealing with.  Those of us that have children owe it to them to get resolution of our own issues so we don’t repeat the cycle of  pain.  We can’t help them until we help ourselves.

Thanks for reading.

 

The Benjamins and the Hopefuls

 

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Lea by: Firkin

Let me tell you a story about two families – the Benjamins and the Hopefuls.   The Benjamins were a very wealthy family. They had two sons Sam and Samuel both of whom attended private school.  Mr. and Mrs. Benjamin spent all of their time working and had little time to spend with their children.  Their sons were usually left in the care of their nanny Elsa. She was an old woman who was always very nice and kind to them.

Mr. Benjamin learnt from an early age that he had to work hard for what he wanted and he honestly believed that the sacrifice he was making would spare his sons the tough lessons he had to learn growing up.

He was proud of his accomplishments and his sons but he would never tell them. Instead, whenever Mr. Benjamin and his sons would cross paths in the hallway of their home he would always stop them and say, “Everything I’m doing, is for you” and they would always shake their heads and answer, “Yes, father. We understand“. Then they would all continue on their way to wherever they were going as they would try to stay out of each other’s way.

The truth is, Sam and Samuel didn’t understand.  In fact, the more time that passed the more resentful they became. They did not understand why having money and riches didn’t make them happy.

The Hopefuls on the other hand, were simple people. They were crop farmers and owned a modest piece of agricultural land.  They had twins a boy and a girl, Adam and Angelina.  Mr. and Mrs. Hopeful were hard-working, kind and humble people. They were not rich in material things but found value in each other.  They made the most of everything they had and always believed in teaching their children about the value of a dollar, good manners, responsibility, life skills, independence, respect, integrity, gratitude and forgiveness.

Mr. Hopeful was a very serious man but when it came to his children his heart would melt like butter. He would play with them in the field, go swimming and even take them hunting.  He treated his children equally.  Mrs. Hopeful would help them with their homework and would encourage them to assist with the chores around the house.  At bedtime she would read to them and kiss them on their foreheads. Before she would leave the room she would always say to them, “It does not matter where you start in this race called life; all that matters is how you finish.”

Adam and Angelina were always well-behaved and well-mannered.  They knew their parents loved them. Even though they did not have all of the things the other children had they never felt as though they lacked anything.  They always supported and looked out for each other.

As time went by the children in both families grew up and eventually took over the respective businesses their parents had left them.  Mr. Benjamin eventually died from a heart-attack.  Mrs. Benjamin died from a broken heart soon after.   It seems the death of her husband was too much for her.   Mr. and Mrs. Hopeful unfortunately died in a car accident later that year.

Sam and Samuel could not cope with the death of their parents. They felt alone and did not feel they were equipped to run the family business.  Sam, the younger of the two started doing drugs and hanging out with the wrong people while Samuel turned to drinking and gambling. Needless to say, the once respected Benjamin name within two years had crumbled to nothing.  The banks seized all of their properties and they had to file for bankruptcy.  Sam was eventually imprisoned for drug possession and Samuel died in a car accident. The pressures of life seemed too much.

Adam and Angelina both missed their parents terribly but knew they had each other. They stuck together and worked hard to build and grow the family business.  They had done so well that they were featured in the town’s newspaper.  They eventually expanded and opened ‘The Hopeful’s Vegetables and Poultry Market’.  All the lessons they had learnt as children growing up had prepared them for life.

Their once modest agricultural land had expanded into two and a half acres.  As they sat on the porch looking at the beautiful sunset and all the blessings they had received they could not help but remember those words their mother would recite to them before bed, “It does not matter  where you start in this race called life; all that matters is how you finish.”

This was my first short story. Hope you enjoyed it. 🙂