Value

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Value is the worth we give to something or someone.

With that said, we should NOT rely on others to validate our worth.    We must TRY not to allow other people’s thoughts and opinions to negatively impact how we see ourselves.

Value is deeper than what our eyes can see.  It goes deeper than the surface especially when we are referring to people and relationships.

Value gets its power from our beliefs.  Therefore, if we really want to grow our value then we need to grow our OWN belief in ourselves.

Value ideally starts with US.

Thanks for stopping by. Have a wonderful day!

Music Reflection Mondays #9

Monday greetings to you all! I’m back from my four-day vacation within the lovely island I call home known as Trinidad and Tobago.

I am so grateful for the time away but it’s time to get back to the real world and my blog which I missed so much.  I’ve missed reading your blogs and sharing my thoughts. I hope all is well with each of you.

Tonight on Music Reflection Mondays I will touch on some of the wonderful music that we make here as well as highlight some of the wonderful talent that creates the music.

The beautiful twin island of Trinidad and Tobago is situated in the West Indies.  We are a diverse group of people filled with rich cultural and religious backgrounds.  Our annual Carnival celebrations is well-known and is truly a sight to behold.

    

 

 

 

 

 

We’re also known for our national instrument called the steel panThe melodious sounds you can hear especially at Carnival time when we have Panorama – an  annual steelband music competition.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Outside of Carnival, Trinidad and Tobago is also known for its music namely calypso music, soca music , chutney music and parang music (which is mostly heard around Christmas time.)

Here are some of our local celebrities for each of the categories I mentioned above.  Please note, that this post would be too long if I tried to list every single person.  This list therefore is by no way a complete representation of all the amazing talent both past and present that we as a nation have blessed with.

Some if not most of these individuals have made a name for themselves not only locally and regionally but internationally as well. For a more extensive listing on our local talent please click here.

Let’s begin. 🙂

Some popular calypsonians include:

  • Dr. Slinger Francisco aka “Mighty Sparrow” or “The Calypso King of the World”
  • Lord Kitchener aka “De Grandmaster”
  • David Rudder
  • Calypso Rose
  • Winston Bailey  aka “Shadow”
  • Dr. Hollis Liverpool aka “Chalkdust”
  • Aaron Duncan
  • Roderick Gordon aka “Chucky”

Some popular soca artiste include:

  • Machel Montano – aka “King of Soca”
  • Ian Alvarez – aka “Bunji Garlin”
  • Fay-Ann Lyons
  • Destra Garcia
  • Shurwayne Winchester
  • Patrice Roberts
  • Kes The Band
  • Denise Belfon – aka “Saucy Wow”
  • Olatunji

Some popular chutney artiste include:

  • Rikki Jai
  • Ravi Bissambhar
  • Drupatee Ramgoonai
  • Sundar Popo
  • KI and 3Veni

Some popular parang singers include:

  • Daisy Voisin
  • Baron
  • Scrunter
  • Lara Brothers
  • Los Caballeros
  • Los Parranderos de UWI

Music feeds the soul and here in Trinidad and Tobago we love it.  Music is apart of who we are and how we enjoy spending our time.  Some more than others but in this country there is no escaping music be it in the form of soca, chutney, calypso, parang we grow up hearing it, living it and breathing it.

What wonderful things are your country known for?    Feel free to share below.

Hope you enjoyed learning a little more about where I’m from and some of the talented people I’ve grown up listening to. 🙂

Thanks for stopping by.  Have a great week.

 

Dangers of unrealistic expectations

Expectations we all have them.  I would even go so far to say, that it is apart of the human condition, in that it comes naturally to us.  We create expectations of ourselves and others.  Sometimes our expectations are realistic and other times they are just unrealistic.    Realistic expectations are great because they are achievable and most times even reasonable.

Unrealistic expectations on the other hand, are the total opposite. They are often unattainable and unreasonable.  They can have negative effects on relationships and the individual.   I have lived through and survived both. Today I want to highlight some of the things I learnt along the way and how I overcame them.

Some negatives that could arise due to unrealistic expectations within the relationship are:

  1. Create unnecessary conflict
  2. Foster resentment
  3. Increase stress levels
  4. Breakdown in communication
  5. Avoidance of each other when possible
  6. Baffled ( as you try to find logic in what is being asked of you)

Some negatives that could arise from self-inflicted unrealistic expectations are:

  1. Bring on depression
  2. Increase stress levels
  3. Increase the risk of failure – (if the goal or target set is not realistic you will fail)
  4. Beating up yourself emotionally – (negative self-talk)
  5. Foster resentment towards yourself – (for not meeting the expectation)
  6. Cause loss of appetite for some people – (side effect from the stress)
  7. Trigger over eating in others – (side effect from the stress)
  8. Negatively impact your health sometimes mentally and or physically.
  9. Hinder your happiness

Some examples of unrealistic expectations include but are not limited to the following:

  1. Relying on your loved ones to make and keep you happy.
  2. Expecting to never fail at anything.
  3. Expecting to be great at everything.
  4. Expecting everybody you meet to like you.
  5. Expecting the people you love to never make a mistake.
  6. You can ‘fix’ everyone. 
  7. You can do everything yourself.
  8. You don’t need anyone.
  9. You are in control of everything.
  10. Our kids want we want for them.

How I overcame my unrealistic expectations:

  1. Stop expecting others to be perfect.
  2. Admit and accept that I was not perfect.
  3. Be realistic and honest with myself. Don’t expect of others things  I do not expect of  myself.
  4. Put myself in the other person’s shoe. Not because I am good at something means everyone else is too.
  5. How we communicate what we want, is just as important as what we communicate, if not more.
  6. Apologize (where I was guilty) and genuinely try do better.
  7. Make a list of anything I deemed was unreasonable and I would try to communicate same to whomever was guilty of it and try to come up with a better way forward.

It took time and practice but I have gotten better at managing my expectations of others and myself.  I’ve seen the benefits both in my relationships and myself.  Always aim to be realistic and reasonable in your expectations.

Thank you for stopping by.  🙂

What lies beneath?

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Image Credit: Pexels.com

This morning I find myself here thinking about people and how we can never really know someone.  What are you really thinking in that complex organ called the brain?

The eyes it is said, “are the windows to the soul” but they do not always reveal how much hurt, pain, resentment and anger a person is carrying around.  Many of us have learnt over time how to mask what we really feel and safeguard what we really think out of fear or embarrassment.

When I read the newspapers or look at the news locally and internationally the issue of crime seems to be a constant problem for all of us.  It’s clear that there are more people than we think out there with mental disturbances that cause them to hurt others but not all of them present themselves to the world the way they really feel. The version of themselves they choose to show society is different to who they really are behind closed doors.

Hence, sometimes you might hear a co-worker or neighbour of theirs say, ” He was always such a nice guy.  I had no idea he was capable of doing something like that.” or “She was always very friendly and helpful. I can’t believe she would do such a thing”

These are very scary realities for some.  The sad thing is more often than not by the time the truth about an individual comes out he or she would have either hurt themselves or someone else.  The teacher is not just a teacher; the priest is not just a priest; the kind old man down the street may not really be the “kind” old man down the street; and the student is not just a student.  I can go on and on but I won’t.

I say all this to say, that we can no longer take people at face value or make assumptions about them because of the positions or titles they hold or what we perceive them to be. People at the end of the day are still just people.  Regular, imperfect human beings with issues and challenges just like the rest of us.  No better or worse.

The times that we are living in make it unwise to blindly trust people and make assumptions about who people are because we really don’t know.  All we really know is what they choose to share with us. 

My aim today was not to scare you but just share my perspective on what is going on in society.  There is a lot we don’t know.  I honestly don’t believe a lot of us have the stomach for what is really going on out there. I know the little I read is enough to make me sick.

So please be safe and vigilant. Don’t take anything or anyone for granted.  Respect and value life!!

Do you agree with the saying, “what you see is what you get?”

I would love to hear your thoughts below.

 

Hey YOU over there!

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Image Credit: Pexels.com

Steering me down from head to toe
Talking about me like I’m some kind of show,
No time to waste to get up in her face
I won’t let her dictate my pace
People will talk, that’s what they say

She’s even got her friend commenting too
She smiles and she steers as she sits on her chair
She better stop, before I go over there
Now I’m counting from 1 to 10
Then I repeat it again

People will talk and that’s a fact
In your face or behind your back
So what do we do? Sit there and feel blue?
Just tune out the noise with grace and poise
Let’s lift our heads up and never give up

Forget the chatter and always remember
Being yourself is all that really matters.

By: Cherylene Nicholas