Cheers to US in 2018!

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Happy January 1st to each of you!

Thank you Lord for bringing each of us into this new chapter of our lives.

Unfortunately, some of our loved ones did not make the transition with us but they are NOT forgotten and the memories and love we have for them will keep them alive in us forever.

With this new day, I can’t help but feel like the refresh and reset buttons on my life have been pressed giving me that renewed feeling.  I went outside and took a few deep breaths appreciating all the beauty that is around me and just had to give God praise.

It was that beauty and sense of peace that prompted these reminders I would like to share with you for the New Year.

As we wake up each day let us never forget that:

  • Each day brings with it an opportunity for GROWTH and LEARNING
  • Each day will have lessons to be TAUGHT and lessons to be LEARNT. 
  • Each day gives us a chance to BE better towards not only others but towards OURSELVES.
  • To be GRATEFUL for each day we are blessed to see, touch and love those we hold dear to us. 
  • Our TIME and LIFE are PRECIOUS and we should make the most of each day. 
  • Lastly, with the POWER of our faith, thoughts, words and actions we CAN achieve ALL that we set my minds to this year and beyond. 

May 2018 not only meet our expectations but exceed them.  Taking each of us into bigger and brighter futures than we never even dreamed possible. 

As always, thank you for making this blog one of your stops in this journey called life.

 

Accepting and Understanding Control

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Many times we let ourselves get upset over the decisions and choices that those we love and care for make that we don’t support.

Many times like broken records we try to tell others why the path they’re on is wrong and why our way would be better.

Many times we see what’s wrong in the lives of others and pay little attention to what we need to fix in our own lives.

Many times we don’t realize or rather refuse to accept that some of us just have to learn some lessons in our own time because if we skip the steps we stand the risk of repeating the same mistakes.

Many times we are angry and upset but don’t admit to ourselves the real cause or root of what we feel and why.

Many times there are periods in our lives when even though we are surrounded by people we may feel alone.

Many times we often hide our true feelings out of fear, pride or uncertainty.

The thing is, there will be many instances when there are things and people we don’t understand, agree with or even like.

We have to sometimes accept that is how they are – at least, at this current moment in their lives.  We can’t fix nor is it our job to everyone or everything. It is only through understanding and learning to recognize that we can’t and will never control everything around us will we be able to better handle such situations.  

Our strength and power comes from understanding that the only control we need to have is over ourselves, our thoughts, our emotions, our words and our actions. When we don’t practice control over our mind, body and spirit we leave ourselves open to whatever and whomever wants to manipulate and control our lives.

Make a conscious decision today to use the power within you wisely! 🙂

May the New Year bring you joy, happiness, love and a way forward to a better, brighter and stronger YOU.

Thank you for stopping by.  Have a wonderful weekend. 🙂

Healing Starts With US

We’ve all experienced emotional, psychological or physical hurt at some point in our lives.  They all hurt. However for me, the most painful of them ALL was not the physical hurt.  You see, the physical hurt eventually heals it’s the memory of it that is harder to forget.

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The emotional and psychological hurts STAY with us for as long as we WISH to carry them around.  They dance around our minds and torment us every chance we LET  them.  They STIFLE our happiness and we allow them to negatively impact our relationships.  They create within us feelings of unworthiness, anger, resentment, sadness and depression.

These hurts don’t just go away on their own.  If they did, we would be a happier society.  I can definitely tell you that wishing them away, ignoring them or even medicating to repress them won’t help.  Although they may appear to be lying dormant inside of us  they are quietly eating away at us – constantly weakening our core and feeding us LIES about ourselves.

The sad thing is, we actually believe those lies making them our truths although FALSE we make them real and this is what eats at us. This is what creates the INTERNAL CONFLICT and disconnect within our very being.

How do we break free and allow ourselves to heal from those experiences?

  1. Ask God for the STRENGTH to see this process through.
  2. Pray for the COURAGE to face your fears, hurts and pains.
  3. Forgive OURSELVES.
  4. Dig deeper and FORGIVE the people who help get us in this mess in the first place.
  5. Have POSITIVE talks with ourselves about ourselves.
  6. STOP holding on to the memories of the moments that have negatively affected us.  Write ALL of them down on a piece of paper and then burn it.  Choosing both in your mind and heart to let the flames free you and release you from that prison those memories have kept you in for so long.
  7. OPEN our hearts and minds to positive experiences, people and thoughts.
  8. START believing and discovering some POSITIVE truths about yourself.  I AM  worthy.  I AM talented.  I AM creative.  I AM one of a kind.  I AM one of God’s gifts to the earth.
  9. SEARCH within yourself for your STRENGTHS and BOLDLY and PROUDLY  acknowledge them.  If you are lost for words, ask people close to you what some of your strengths are.
  10. LOOK into your mirror and REFUSE to continue accepting the LIES you’ve been told about yourself.   “You are not a failure.”  ” You are not a waste of time.”  “You are not a mistake.”
  11. STOP trying to run from yourself.  We do this by ignoring the issues and trying to drown ourselves with denial.  We’ve been running long enough.  It’s time to face the music and take CONTROL of our lives.
  12. UNDERSTANDING and PATIENCE. We need to understand that healing is a process and won’t happen overnight. So let’s be patient with ourselves as we work towards the breakthrough we’ve been searching for.

So dear friends and faithful readers, remember healing is not automatic but is in fact a process that we MUST initiate and FOLLOW THROUGH with if we are to achieve the FREEDOM so many of us long for.  The ultimate healing we can receive would come from within bringing – peace of mind, body and spirit.

Thank you for stopping by. Best wishes to you all.

Health and Wellness Fridays : Self-control

Hello and welcome back to Health and Wellness Fridays!  Hope you all are having a wonderful Friday. Tonight, I want to talk about the challenges most of us have in exercising self-control especially as it relates to our eating habits.

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Let me first start off by saying that this is an area I personally struggle with.  I know all the right foods to eat and all the unhealthy foods to avoid and yet in spite of all of this knowledge and wisdom – it can be really tough to walk away sometimes.  I know for a fact that I’m not the only person with this issue but let’s keep the focus on me. I don’t want you guys feeling bad or guilty. So just hear me out. 🙂

Self-control means that not only do we have the POWER to control ourselves, our choices and our decisions but that we actually USE that power in our best interest.

I believe we all have self-control the challenge is applying it to the areas of our lives that we have relinquished control – for some it is their finances, others their relationships, and so many other areas but mine is junk food. 🙁

Do I have self-control? Yes! Is it effectively applied to every area of my life? No. Food is one of the most challenging areas for me. Sure, I have the good stuff like my fruits, veggies, nuts, multivitamins, and so on but I also have occasional fries, fried chicken, pizza and Chinese food from time to time.  I know what I have to do and yet there are times when I decide to just throw it out the door and just have what I want and not necessarily what I need.

Do I love myself enough to do better? Yes!  So what’s holding me back from committing fully to the process?  Let’s find out.

  1. Cravings – old habits where you can’t help but want what you want even after you’ve implemented new habits.
  2. Enablers – the people around me who love the same stuff I love so it’s easy to fall back into it.
  3. Self-talk – where I convince myself I’m in control and I walk into an establishment leaving self-control at the door as the aroma of food fills the air.  He better not watch me crossed eyed when I’m walking back out with my fast food in tow so he can pout all he wants.  🙂
  4. Emotional eating – if I am feeling stressed out  you could believe that I am going in search of my comfort food KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) or a good BBQ. It does help to be honest but I do feel guilty after so all I end up doing is transitioning from one emotion to another.
  5. Not eating on time.  This is a major factor in me making poor food choices as I let my sense of smell and sight along with my hunger pains determine what I eat and how much.
  6. The belief that because I make healthy food choices most times that  I can have occasional ‘feel good food’. Life is just too short for diet rigidity.

All of the above factors make self-control over eating habits more challenging.  How do we overcome them?

  1. Eating on time. I try to add little snacks like yogurt, fruit or even nuts to help me not feel as hungry since I’m often stuck behind a desk.
  2. Try to monitor my stress levels and try to distract myself with music to take my mind off of whatever is attempting to throw me off.
  3. Monitor the self-talk. If I feel like convincing myself to go through the drive thru I would try to give myself reasons why I probably shouldn’t go – the line is just too long, the chicken might not even be fresh or the fries might be hot.  It works most times.
  4. As for the enablers, I just started saying NO especially if I already indulged once or twice for the week then anything after that is a no. I end up talking down their cravings as well. Of course, they’ll be a little disappointed and I’ll probably have to provide an alternative but at least we saved ourselves from overindulging.
  5. Cravings – I try not to stifle my urges entirely because food makes me happy. I have made an effort to regulate how often I would indulge for the week and month and try to stay within or under that goal making sure not to exceed it. Example, I might have KFC 2 -3 times for the month rather than 2-3 times for the week.
  6. Being honest with myself about what my weaknesses are and trying to put things in place to improve them for the betterment of ME.

Self-control is inside of each of us we just have to tap into it meaningfully. We all stumble from time to time and that’s okay. We need to support and encourage each other especially in areas of weakness – so let’s pick ourselves up and keep pushing forward. When we give up on ourselves self-control walks out the door.

Our health and wellness is just as important as those other areas of our lives that we apply self-control to if not more so.  It is there to protect us but it can’t work if we don’t use it.

Have a wonderful night and an amazing weekend.  Thank you for stopping by.

Don’t Underestimate Your Words

What words are you using to describe yourself or identify with?

Are they positive or negative?

Some positive words we can use include: adaptable, adventurous, beautiful, ambitious, amiable, compassionate, considerate, courageous, handsome, courteous, creative, cute, diligent, generous, passionate, pretty, persistent, reliable, resourceful, sincere and witty just to name a few.  How many more words can you add to this list?

Some negative words include: arrogant, boastful, bossy, cruel, deceitful, dishonest, harsh, selfish, irresponsible, lazy, unattractive, mean, unreliable, ruthless, ugly, resentful, rude, self-centred and untrustworthy just to name a few. There are so much more but why focus on the negative?

I can honestly say that I have identified with a few of these words at one point or another but I didn’t stay there and neither do you.   I chose a different path and created a better version of myself.  It did not happen overnight but each day I made a choice to improve and I did just that.

Pay close attention to the labels you choose to associate and identify with. Take corrective action where you think necessary.  Even though we aren’t perfect that does not mean we should not try to be better human beings.

Words are just words. The meaning and power words have is what we give to them.

This is important because the words we choose to identify with can either strengthen and reinforce our core or they can weaken our very foundation.

Make some time for yourself this week to write down all the positive words you can that identifies you as a person, if you’re not happy where you’re at today, you can write out words that describe who you would like to become.

Have a blessed day!  Thanks for stopping by.

Music Reflection Mondays #2

Monday greetings to you all!  I hope that you all had a good weekend filled with pleasant memories to carry you through this new week.  If not, you better create some. 🙂

Welcome back to Music Reflection Mondays!  Today I’m highlighting some  of my favourites that I’ve listened to over the years when I was down or just feeling a little (okay I’ll admit it) really messed up and broken.  The important thing is, I’m much happier now than I was back then when I felt like the world as I knew it was no more.

These songs helped provide clarity in some instances and even gave me the strength to move forward in others. They helped calm my thoughts and just put me in a better place.  🙂

Can you think of any songs that helped you through a difficult time in your life?

I’ve listed them in alphabetical order. Let’s begin.  🙂

  1. Adele – Set Fire to the Rain
  2. Alicia Keys – No One
  3. Bruno Mars – Just the Way You Are
  4. David Guetta featuring Sia – Titanium
  5. Deborah Cox – Nobody Supposed To Be Here
  6. Destiny’s Child – Say My Name
  7. Fergie – Big Girls Don’t Cry
  8. Jennifer Hudson – Spotlight
  9. Justin Timberlake  – Cry Me A River
  10. Kate Perry – Part of Me
  11. Mary J Blige – No More Drama
  12. Monica – For You I Will
  13. Meghan Trainor – Lips Are Movin
  14. R. Kelly – When A Woman’s Fed Up
  15. Rihanna – Take a Bow
  16. Rihanna – Only Girl (In the World)
  17. Usher – Burn
  18. Usher – Moving Mountains
  19. Whitney Houston – Heartbreak Hotel featuring Faith Evans and Kelly Price
  20. Whitney Houston – It’s Not Right But It’s Okay

If you’ve gotten this far, well done. 🙂  It was tough narrowing down this list but I did it.   I must ask, were any of the above on your list of favourites?  If not, do share I would love to know so please feel free to share one or two in comments below.

Music was there when I needed it most and I didn’t even realize it back then.  Today, it is my go to when I’m feeling down.  Before I know it, I’m bobbing my head, tapping my foot and singing along.  My spirit feels lifted and forward I go onto my next challenge. Revived and renewed. 🙂

Thank you Lord for all the artistes out there who’ve touched our lives, hearts and souls through their music. They do more for us than we sometimes realize.  They use their lyrics to vocalise some of the things the rest of us are feeling but are so filled with emotions that we are often rendered speechless.

May they always find the words to help us as we sing along, dance, laugh, cry and love.  Thanks so much for stopping by.

Have a great week!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be No One Else But You

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You have the power

You have the strength

You have the courage

You have the attitude

You have the life

To be anyone you want

So why be anyone else but YOU!

 

We’re all unique and beautifully made.  Never let another human being make you feel less than or not good enough but YOU ARE AWESOME!