You’re not alone..

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There have been times in my life when I wished and even prayed for a simple answer to some of my problems that would clearly say, “Cherylene, do this or do that.”

There were also times when I didn’t feel like I would ever find the answers or my way out of some of the situations I found myself in.

I blamed everyone and everything for what was happening around me.  The bank, my ex, my family, the economy, work and ultimately life.  I honestly believed that the universe was just ganging up me and would not give me a break. The people around me didn’t seem to be faced with as many obstacles as I was and this made me angry and even a little resentful.  It is sad to say but I was not in a good place.

Everything just seemed to be falling a part.  Whenever I thought I had finally had a breakthrough something else would happen.   I was stressed out, frustrated and angry and one day I just hit my peak.  You know, the straw that broke the camel’s back kind of scenario.   I can tell you this now but I never told anyone else. Well, now the world will know but maybe this could help someone who is where I was.

I sat in my room and just started crying and crying like never before. I’m usually someone who holds her shit together and would just keep everything inside but this time was different.  This time I cried out to God because I realized that I was really angry with myself and God for ‘allowing’ me to get where I was.

I knew I could do better and be better but I just did not know how or where to start.  I  don’t know how long I sat there crying and just asking God why this was all happening to me and why he wouldn’t help me.

Then all of a sudden I felt a sense calm and peace fill me and my room.  I then heard a voice say, “You never asked for my help. You complain and complain about your problems but you never once asked me directly for my help.”

I sat there on my bed in shock and even doubting I heard anything because there was no one else around.  I was home alone just me, myself and I and yet I felt ashamed of myself.  I kneeled down beside my bed and prayed and ask God to forgive me.  I asked for his guidance and direction in and over every aspect of my life.

Over the next few days, months and years I learnt to stop complaining about what was not right in my life and learned to give praise and thanks for what was right.  I had to trust in God’s plan for my life and demonstrate that trust through my words and actions and not stress over the stuff I did not have the details for.

My life has changed and improved more than I thought possible  thanks to the favour and mercy of God in my life.  The good news is,  I know God is not done yet.     I had to make a conscious decision to change the way I was going about life – my thinking,  the words I would speak over my situations even some of the people I surrounded myself with. It was in no way easy but I see now that it was necessary.  I took that step of faith towards a new beginning and a better, happier life and I have no regrets.

I wish I had done it sooner but I recognise now that everything had to happen the way it did for me to truly appreciate where I am today.

It’s never too late.  If you’ve been crying out to God for help and direction and have not seen improvements in your life maybe, just maybe you’re not looking close enough to the answers or signs he has given you to get you where you need to be.

God gives us signs we just need to open ourselves up to seeing and receiving them.

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You’ve made it this far. You are more blessed than you know. Just had to stop by and tell you so.  Don’t give up!

Thank you for stopping by.  Make today and the rest of the week a great one. 🙂

Health and Wellness Fridays – Toxic People

Hello and welcome back to Health and Wellness Fridays! It feels so good to be back. 🙂

Today I’m going to be talking about the effect toxic people can have on our health and wellness.    Let’s first look at some traits of toxic people.

Here are 14 signs of a toxic person or relationship.

  1. They are constantly negative towards you and others.
  2. Verbal, physical and psychological abuse is the norm in the relationship.
  3. They encourage and support you in negative behaviour.
  4. They are non-supportive when you need them most.
  5. They are manipulative.
  6. They never apologize and if they do it’s not genuine as they repeat the same behaviour over and over.
  7. They constantly expect you to prove yourself to them.
  8. They are constantly trying to control you what you wear, who you speak to, where you go and more.
  9. They don’t take responsibility for their own feelings or actions and blame you constantly for the way things are.
  10. The focus is always on them and what they need and want never about your needs or feelings.
  11. They leave you drained emotionally and physically.
  12. They tend to want you to spend less and less time with the people who love and care about you such as your family and friends.
  13. Your interactions with them leave you feeling stressed, depressed and or irritated.
  14.  Happy moments are far and few because you are always arguing with each other.  Or rather you are always defending yourself.

I have experienced this and I can tell you that such an existence in this world is just that an existence because you’re not living and I for one was not happy.  Any happiness I did experience was short-lived because of the constant drama and arguing.

Many times we allow ourselves to stay in toxic relationships and underestimate the impact these negative interactions can have on our health and overall well-being.

Did you know?

Some researchers have even looked at the correlation between psychological and emotional stress, and its relationship to increased risk of illness and disease.

Here are some possible side effects of trying to live within a toxic relationship or among toxic people.

  1. Constant emotional turmoil – as you’re either stressed, angry, agitated or depressed.
  2. Emotional distress can trigger other symptoms such as loss of appetite or over eating resulting in rapid weight loss or weight gain.  It all depends on how you treat or cope with your stress.
  3. The frustrations of the interactions could trigger an increase in other habits such as drinking and smoking.
  4. Hair loss.
  5. Headaches or migraines.
  6. Trouble sleeping
  7. High blood pressure
  8. Anxiety
  9. Poor self-image

I’m sure the list can go on and on because the symptoms are different for everyone.  Some are mild and others can be more severe as others may have thoughts of suicide or even suffer a heart attack. Stress especially the  chronic type over time wears down not just the mind but the body and spirit.

What can someone do in such a situation?

I could say to you run like the wind and don’t look back but that’s what you’ve probably heard before and for some reason or another you’ve chosen to stay.

Why do we stay? For some, it’s love while for others it’s the fear and uncertainty of what life would be without that special someone, fear of starting over because they are unsure about themselves and their abilities.

When I stayed back then, I was blinded by my love for the other person so much that I did not allow myself to love me enough to get out of that damaging situation.  I was also fearful and uncertain of how  I would manage without him in my life but I did it!

It was different but each day got better and easier and I not only grew in self-confidence but my knowledge of myself, my true strengths and weaknesses. I could look into the mirror and finally see ME for the beautiful and amazing person that I am. 🙂

There’s nothing wrong with loving another human being just as long as we share and show that same love and more towards ourselves as well!

Toxic relationships both in the short-term and long-term can deplete us on every level imaginable, if we give them the power, space and freedom to.  Read the questions below and answer them honestly.

  • Ask yourself, is this situation worth your life?
  • Are you truly happy with the way things are?
  • Who are the two or more most supportive people in your life?
  • If you were looking at your life from the someone else’s shoes – what would be your advice be to them?
  • If this negative person does not change their behaviour towards you, are you willing to do something about it?

It’s your life, your health, your happiness and your decision.  Whatever you do, choose to love yourself enough to reposition yourself into a situation that is healthier and happier for YOU.

Thanks for stopping by. 🙂