There have been times in my life when I wished and even prayed for a simple answer to some of my problems that would clearly say, “Cherylene, do this or do that.”
There were also times when I didn’t feel like I would ever find the answers or my way out of some of the situations I found myself in.
I blamed everyone and everything for what was happening around me. The bank, my ex, my family, the economy, work and ultimately life. I honestly believed that the universe was just ganging up me and would not give me a break. The people around me didn’t seem to be faced with as many obstacles as I was and this made me angry and even a little resentful. It is sad to say but I was not in a good place.
Everything just seemed to be falling a part. Whenever I thought I had finally had a breakthrough something else would happen. I was stressed out, frustrated and angry and one day I just hit my peak. You know, the straw that broke the camel’s back kind of scenario. I can tell you this now but I never told anyone else. Well, now the world will know but maybe this could help someone who is where I was.
I sat in my room and just started crying and crying like never before. I’m usually someone who holds her shit together and would just keep everything inside but this time was different. This time I cried out to God because I realized that I was really angry with myself and God for ‘allowing’ me to get where I was.
I knew I could do better and be better but I just did not know how or where to start. I don’t know how long I sat there crying and just asking God why this was all happening to me and why he wouldn’t help me.
Then all of a sudden I felt a sense calm and peace fill me and my room. I then heard a voice say, “You never asked for my help. You complain and complain about your problems but you never once asked me directly for my help.”
I sat there on my bed in shock and even doubting I heard anything because there was no one else around. I was home alone just me, myself and I and yet I felt ashamed of myself. I kneeled down beside my bed and prayed and ask God to forgive me. I asked for his guidance and direction in and over every aspect of my life.
Over the next few days, months and years I learnt to stop complaining about what was not right in my life and learned to give praise and thanks for what was right. I had to trust in God’s plan for my life and demonstrate that trust through my words and actions and not stress over the stuff I did not have the details for.
My life has changed and improved more than I thought possible thanks to the favour and mercy of God in my life. The good news is, I know God is not done yet. I had to make a conscious decision to change the way I was going about life – my thinking, the words I would speak over my situations even some of the people I surrounded myself with. It was in no way easy but I see now that it was necessary. I took that step of faith towards a new beginning and a better, happier life and I have no regrets.
I wish I had done it sooner but I recognise now that everything had to happen the way it did for me to truly appreciate where I am today.
It’s never too late. If you’ve been crying out to God for help and direction and have not seen improvements in your life maybe, just maybe you’re not looking close enough to the answers or signs he has given you to get you where you need to be.
God gives us signs we just need to open ourselves up to seeing and receiving them.
You’ve made it this far. You are more blessed than you know. Just had to stop by and tell you so. Don’t give up!
Thank you for stopping by. Make today and the rest of the week a great one. 🙂