The Truth about Stubbornness

Hear Nothing, See Nothing, Do Not Speak

Stubbornness is an unwillingness to change one’s attitude or position on something, even when the alternative is better.

Is there an upside to stubbornness? Not really but then again it depends on who you ask and where you fall in the equation.  Let’s take a look.

UPSIDE  to STUBBORNNESS:

  1. You get to stay exactly as you ARE  because you already KNOW the answers to everything.
  2. You automatically ‘win’ every disagreement because no one with a true understanding of the situation would expel much energy or effort trying to convince you otherwise.
  3. You don’t have to accept change.  Your way is the best way and there is nobody out there that can tell you different.

 

DOWNSIDE to STUBBORNNESS:

  1. Limits your growth not only in knowledge but also experiences.
  2. Makes accepting and implementing change difficult because you’re so stuck in your own ways.
  3. People tend to avoid any meaningful exchanges with you because they don’t want to end up in an argument.
  4. Blocks and limits understanding because of your unwillingness to show  understanding towards others.
  5. Hinders progress not only for yourself but others especially if you are in a position of power.
  6. It is a selfish way of interacting with the world around you.

There will always be someone out there with a different perspective, new ideas and concepts that challenge or may even improve our current way of doings things.   We don’t have to like or agree with everything that is shared with us but we should at least respect the fact that a contribution is being made and do the right thing and that is – to genuinely hear them out.

Open-mindedness should not be what we expect of others when it comes to our beliefs and opinions especially when we ourselves may be closed-minded to what others have to say. 

Stubbornness that blocks and disregards the opinions, thoughts and feelings of others is a building block to nowhere.

 

Thank you for stopping by.  Have a great day!

 

Hide and Seek

 

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This is a story about a forbidden relationship between two people called Denial and Truth who only played Hide and Seek.

Denial’s parents told him that he and Truth could NEVER be together because she would only hurt him so he should always avoid her.  Denial did not listen to his parents and would in his own little way interact with Truth through playing Hide and Seek.

Truth liked Denial very much but could never get close to him.  Hide and Seek was all she had and this made her little heart sad.  No matter how hard she tried Denial always managed to slip away.

Until one day, Truth finally caught up with Denial.  For the first time he was cornered and trapped.   His emotions started swelling up on the inside now his true feelings he could no longer hide.   Truth looked Denial in his eyes and said, ” You can avoid me all you want. You could even try to wish me away but I have news for you, I’m here to stay.  You constantly push me aside because your emotions you want to hide.  Can’t you see my love, you’re creating even more turmoil inside?”

Denial unable to control his emotions anymore starts weeping uncontrollably on the floor.  Truth sits down beside him attempting to console him.  She understands his heart is thin but this is a battle even he can’t win.  She then whispers in his ear, “I understand this hurts but avoiding me will only make the pain worse. Let’s face these things together because that is the only way you’ll feel better.”

Over time these two stopped playing Hide and Seek and decided to meet up once a week.

Denial finally understood that although he could avoid Truth he could not remove her from his life. He soon realised that facing her actually made him feel better.  He eventually built up enough courage to take her home to meet his parents. 🙂

You can just imagine his parents surprise to see their son Denial and Truth standing side by side.  It took them some getting used to but over time they learnt to accept and eventually love her too.

Remember, we may not always like the truth about something,  someone or ourselves but avoiding it does not make it go away.  I’ve learnt the only way to truly move forward is to face and accept the truth and chart a way forward.

Denial is only a short-term answer or response to our problems.  The time will come when we have to face what we’ve been hiding or running from.  It won’t be easy but the end result should you choose to embrace and see the process through is  greater clarity, your emotional burden will be lifted or lighter and the healing can finally begin – resulting in a much happier you.

Thank you for stopping by. Have a great day! 🙂

Strength

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Typically, when we hear the term ‘strength‘ we associate it with physical abilities and attributes.   However, over the years after going through different experiences some good and others rather challenging,  I’ve learnt that strength is so much more than just a physical thing.

What do I mean?

Well, during my difficult moments it was my strength of mind, spirit and family that helped me overcome those not so sunny days.   Let me explain.

  • Strength of mind – this is when we know who we are and no longer allow self-doubt or negative people to have control over our thoughts and emotions. 

 

  • Strength of spirit – this is where our faith and our beliefs come in.   It is in times of adversity that this strength once nurtured and developed can help bring us through those tough periods in our lives.   Without it, we are like sheep among wolves.

 

  • Strength of family – this strength is often overlooked.  The love, support and encouragement of family is so important in our lives.  They usually rally around us in our time of need.  They usually stand by us through the good and the bad times.  Those of us who don’t have families like that may still be blessed with a few individuals in our lives that we have formed very close and strong bonds with who over the years have become your family.  This is just as significant.

These three aspects of my life have made such a difference in the outcome of various events in my life that I will forever be grateful.  So, am I strong? YES, in every area of my life that matters most to ME.

Am I going to have challenging moments in my life from time to time? Yes!  Why? Being strong in those areas does not mean we won’t have issues or challenges.  Those strengths just mean we would be better able to cope with the obstacles than individuals who have not developed those areas yet.

We use food and exercise to strengthen our bodies but how do we go about strengthening our mind and spirit?

Some things we can do to strengthen those areas include:

  1. Through prayer.
  2. Reading and trying to understand the scripture.  I understand that this can be a bit challenging as we would not always understand everything we read but I believe if we trust and ask God to open our minds and hearts to what he needs us to see and be he would point the way.
  3. Paying attention to what we put in and what we allow those around us to contribute.
  4. Be mindful of the people we surround ourselves with as negative energy breathes negativity.
  5. Take control of our thoughts.
  6. Facing our truths whatever they maybe and choosing to understand, learn and move forward.
  7. Practice forgiveness.  Not just for those persons who have wronged us but ourselves. We are often very tough on ourselves.
  8. Practice self-love.  I believe that even with our imperfections we are still worth love and appreciation.

I’m merely sharing my experience. I can only tell you what has helped me.  Strength is God’s gift to each of us.  Are you prepared and willing to tap into yours?

Thanks for stopping by.  Make today and this weekend a great one.

The Blame Game

The blame game only highlights the obvious that is, that something went wrong or not as planned.

The time and effort we put into it can drain our energy and leaving those involved feeling discouraged and angry. How we address issues in times like these can help make or break relationships.

Things go wrong from time to time and it is important that we look at where things went wrong and why so we can learn from them.  However, more effort should be placed on finding a resolution and a way forward.

So before we go off highlighting everything someone else did incorrectly – stop, think and ask yourself, if it were me how would I like to be spoken to or about.

We all make mistakes. Let’s choose to learn from them.

Thanks for stopping by. 

To Inspire

 

To inspire is to give hope

For a better and brighter tomorrow

To inspire is to care

To inspire is to share

 

To inspire is to connect with someone on a deeper level

To revive and refresh

That neglected piece of themselves

Provoking thought, action and growth

 

To inspire is selfless

To inspire means you’ve not only gained wisdom

But understanding

And more importantly, you’re not afraid to use it

 

To inspire is to foster and encourage happiness

Within ourselves and our lives

Therefore to inspire is ME and YOU

Although inspiration can be found outside of us

It lies within us too!

 

Thanks for stopping by.  🙂

 

 

 

Easier Said Than Done

It is usually easier to say to someone what they should do or how they should live their life until you are the one faced with your own situation or dilemma.

When the shoe is on the other foot and you are the person actually feeling the squeeze you realise it is not as easy sometimes as we think especially when it comes to feelings of the heart.

  • Sometimes in life those close to us just need us to listen and not judge or list all that is wrong with their lives. 
  • Sometimes they just need to know that we love and care about them no matter what. 
  • Sometimes they just need to be reminded about the things that make them the special and amazing people we know and love.

Empathize with them and if you do have personal experience in that area then simply share what your experience was, how it affected you and what you learned from it.  Let him or her decide for them self what they need to do.

The last thing you want or need is this person becoming resentful of you when all you’re trying to do is help and protect them.  Sometimes we can’t protect or prevent the inevitable.  If they have to go through this chapter of their life then there is nothing we can do about it.

It would be sad to see them in hurting especially if you were trying to save them from the possible pain but I’ve learnt as a survivor from a less than perfect situation that sometimes the experience is needed for us to blossom into the stronger, more confident individuals that we are supposed to be.   Sometimes in life there are just some lessons we all have to learn for ourselves.  The wisdom to be gained for each individual is different and so are the potential benefits to be achieved.

Don’t give up on them.  Don’t try to control their lives as this would only push them away.  Be a good listener if that is what they need at that time.  Be an unbiased advisor if they are seeking advice.  You need to be as objective as possible allowing them to make the final decision themselves.

Once they know you love them and mean well.  They will always come to you.  Be that support column or shoulder to cry on.  Share your knowledge and wisdom but don’t force it on them.  Lastly, pray for them.

 

Thanks for stopping by.